Deal Breakers!

I figured I'd do something special for all of the Valentine's Day sweethearts out there. Well, not really...

We all have certain things that we just can't accept when it comes to relationships. Some of us have a mental checklist that a person must pass if they're to be eligible for dates. Here were some deal breakers for me back when I was single:

Grammar

If you talk like either of the ladies from the reality show "Tiny and Toya," then there's no way I would have considered bringing you home to Mom. I've heard cavemen in the movies with better grammar.

"Better don't miss our show!"

Hygiene

If you breath kicked like Jason Statham, then keep on steppin'. A woman's hygiene should be on-point at all times. 'Nuff said.

Shopping habits

If you had to have the latest name-brand gear, then I couldn't do anything for you. I didn't mind someone who shops, but I couldn't hitch my wagon to someone who splurges.

Those were a few of my deal breakers that I subscribed to prior to me marrying The Mrs. Everyone should have standards. I don't mean something stupid or childish like, "he has to be over 6'2" or she can't weigh more than 115 lbs." Those are for people who don't understand what relationships are all about. I'm talking about legitimate criteria that makes someone suitable for dating.


What are your deal breakers?

Ugly... Ugly... Cute... Cute...

So, I'm taking an extremely rare trip to the mall the other day to buy a pair of dress pants for an event. I despise the mall, so it takes a special occasion for me to make one of my semi-annual trips.

I open the door leading into JCPenney and before I know it... "Ugly... Ugly... Cute... Cute..."

I'm passing judgement on the women I see. It didn't occur to me until after the fourth or fifth woman that I was even doing so. I almost came to a complete stop as I thought to myself, "Has my life been this way since puberty? Do I judge every strange woman I encounter for her physical appearance?"



Yep. I judge attractiveness in strange women. I don't tend to react that way when I meet people, but if you are a stranger just walking by, you've been labeled. For some reason, when I meet people I am actually focused on the person, their name and something distinctive about their speech. I think the way a woman talks, for lack of a better word, "speaks" volumes about her level of intelligence.

But if you're just walking by and the only focus of mine is on you and what you're wearing, then I'm going to harvest a mental opinion of your appearance never to be shared with anyone.

Am I the only person who does this? Surely I'm not. Everyone whose attention is drawn by another person, for better or worse, judges them as "ugly", "cute" or somewhere in between, right?

Even as a married man, I still recognize "unattractive" from "attractive". I guess people think once you're married that sense dies at the altar or something.

Negative, negative.

That sense never dies. I'll be a 91-year old man passing beauty judgments on women. If you look like a fruit bat, then I'll label you as such. If you're magazine-cover ready, then I'll label you as such.

Even The Mrs. knows that I have an opinion on everyone I notice. Every now and then she'll ask if I think someone is cute or not. Some times it catches me off-guard, but I'm honest with her in my answer.



So, now that this has been brought to your attention, you're going to realize that you do this, too, right? I think some people do it without knowing. I don't think there's anything wrong with it because you're not telling the person they're ugly. Besides, don't ugly people know that they're ugly?

Okay, that seemed mean, but if I realize that I'm overweight, why can't they realize they're ugly? And if you're comfortable with you, then who cares what anyone thinks?

So, with that in mind, the next time you're in public and someone happens to catch your eye, what will you think?

"Ugly" or "cute"?