Friday, November 25, 2016

I Miss #Dating

I remember when dating was an audition for something greater.  It was two people coming together to see if they could co-exist in a relationship.  You asked questions to get to know the other person in order to find out if you two could get along long-term.  You participated in activities together to enjoy each other's company.  It was a patient process that promoted good decision-making.

That was the 90's and before.

If you ask 10 people to define "dating" today, then don't be surprised if you get at least six different answers.  It just doesn't mean the same thing that it did almost 20 years ago.  It's not really looked at as an audition for something greater any more.  Now it's just something to do.  I've communicated/dated with women for months who didn't learn jack about me.  It's like they didn't even know what important questions to ask me.  They either never bothered to find out where I went to high school.  They didn't learn the sizes of my clothes.  They never even saw my music library.  They don't even know what has shaped me to be the person I am today.

There's really no learning process in dating now.  It's just small talk, sex, and no plans after that.  If a woman happens to get pregnant, then maybe at that point, the two will try to be a couple.  If either of them gets bored, then someone dumps the other.  But, getting married is no longer first on the priority list.  Dating is just something to do until the next interesting person comes along.

Think about how many single people you know.  They're not all single because they can't find anyone who is right for them.  Most are single because they don't know what to do with someone who is right for them.  It's like dogs that chase cars.  If the car stops, the dog looks confused on what to do because catching the car was never in the plan.

People love the chase, but don't want to make a catch.  Because actually catching something requires that you to do something to keep it.  And most people don't know how to keep someone or they lack the confidence to learn how.

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