The Walking Dead

No, this isn't about the popular TV show that features zombies galore.  This is about people stuck in a lame duck relationship/marriage.  You know there's no chance for anything in the future, but you're still wandering around aimlessly like a zombie.  Instead of searching for brains you are searching for change.  Hoping that something will flip the switch in your mate and help them to realize that they are drifting away.

But, most of the time they will not change.  I think most people who drift away in relationships do so voluntarily.  It may not start as a conscious act, but when you ultimately want to get rid of someone it's easier to frustrate them into leaving then asking them to do so.

So, what do you do when you find yourself in that situation?  Well, you have a few choices:

• You can stay and fight for what you want.  If you believe that he or she is a good person then you will communicate your feelings to them and hope that they snap out of it.
• You can remain in the relationship and enjoy the convenience of having a pretty sure thing when it comes to having someone to go out with or engage in intimate acts with now and then.  Although their mind may be elsewhere their bodies may still be available for dates and sex.
• You can walk away from it all.  If you don't think the person cares for you any more than find someone who does.  You shouldn't have to beg someone to love you.

Hopefully this never happens to you, but if it does then don't let it ruin your life.  It's a lot more common than people realize.  Relationships are all about people being on the same page and it's okay if you're not on the same page with your mate.  That's life.  Just try to figure out which of those three situations work best for you and remember that there's no wrong choice if you believe in your decision.

I Missed My Own Blogoversary?

Wow.  I've really been ripping and running over the past few weeks, I guess.  I do so much over here now that I forget that I have a blog sometimes.  For that I apologize.  It's very difficult for me to sit down and focus the necessary amount of time into blogging when I have so many other things that have my interest at the moment.

One thing that I always enjoyed doing was sharing stories with all of my readers about some of my life experiences.  I started that on July 15th of 2010.  So much has happened in my life since then and those who have been with me since Day One know it all.  I'm a very private person, but for some reason I will bare so much of my soul on this blog.

I've shared stories that I've not even told certain friends or family members.  I've shared opinions that are very unpopular with some people.  I've even shared tragedies and triumphs I've experienced as they occurred.  If a person wanted to get to know me then they have the "Complete Guide to Q" literally right at their fingertips.

I've seen my blog go from being very active (regarding comments) to no activity at all.  I'm okay with that.  I understand that some bloggers will only comment on your blog if you comment on theirs.  However, those aren't the readers I want anyway.

I want the readers who are searching for something other than exclusive comment reciprocation.  I want the people who aren't looking for a one-stop shop for some particular product.  My blog isn't a relationship blog.  It's not sports, political, or current events either.  It's an entertainment blog that encompasses everything I choose to discuss.

And that's the way I prefer to keep it for the people who can appreciate a variety of subjects.

So, Happy Belated #4 to my own personal therapist.  This blog has helped keep me from crying as well as helped keep me from cursing someone out.  Expressing myself has truly been a blessing in disguise and I hope to get back to it more consistently at some point.

For those who still read "Thank, Q," I thank you from the bottom of my heart.  Every time I see that counter grow closer to 1,000,000 hits I can't help but smile.

Thanks so much for your support over the years!

Is Marvel Comics Going for Shock Value?

I've been a fan of Marvel Comics since I was a kid.  In fact, I still have a ton of comics that I would love to sell if anyone is interested.  Let me refocus on my blog post and get dollar signs out of my eyes.

A lot of comic book fans are purists and hate to see the slightest deviation of their beloved characters.  Well, Marvel has taken deviation to an entirely new level with what they have in store for Thor fans.

Thor the God of Thunder will soon be Thor the Goddess of Thunder.

That's right.  The most masculine guy with long hair in all of Marvel Comics is getting a sex change.  Well, I actually don't know how they plan on writing her into the story, but know that "he" is soon to be a "she."

I wonder if Marvel is doing this for shock value.  Changes like this grabs headlines and there's nothing wrong with a little buzz around your product even if it's from angry purists.  Another alternative could be that maybe they're trying to bring in a female fan base.  After all, girls probably read a lot more than boys these days.  Either way I'm guessing that Marvel will want to keep from causing confusion and this will be a temporary move until the Avengers movie comes out in 2015.  It would be extremely odd to have Thor as a woman in the comics and a man on the silver screen.

In any event, I don't care about this one way or the other.  If I were 8 years old again and still reading comics regularly then I'm sure that I would be pissed.  But, Marvel can do no wrong when it comes to making money, so who am I to question their decision making.

I will admit that the change caught me completely by surprise though.  And I thought Archie Andrews getting shot was a shocker.  The next thing you'll be trying to get me to believe is that Captain America will be replaced by a black man.

  OH, SNAP!

Sex Isn't Dirty

Okay, so I understand that people have different views which is what makes us so unique.  But, some views tend to make me scratch my head a bit.  Especially when it comes to sex.  It's not a very popular topic among certain groups of people, but sex is the only reason any of us are even here.

So, in regards to something that is essential to life itself, why is it viewed as something dirty and disgusting?  Can it be that way?  Absolutely, depending on how open-minded you may or may not be.  But, the act itself is as natural as anything on this planet and it's time to stop demonizing it.

Churches

I grew up in a traditional Baptist church.  A lot of churches teach sex as if it's a bad thing.  That it's something that makes you unclean.  Depending on your religion, that could be true in some cases, but they don't differentiate the cases.  You're brought up to think that it's simply a bad thing.  To top it off, not all churches explain that sex can be about more than just having babies.  Sex can be something spouses can enjoy together.  You can still enjoy sex and "keep it holy" if you read more than you listen.  That usually gets lost somewhere in the "teachings."

Ladies

So many women get brought up to think that their private parts are always off limits.  If you have sex with a lot of guys then you're a slut.  If I had a daughter then I'd probably teach her the same thing, too.  #Hypocrite LOL!  However, in the spirit of fairness I'll be open-minded on this one, too.

A woman who enjoys sex is not a slut.  Now, that doesn't mean go out and do Bangfest 2014, but it does mean that it's okay if you have those urges.  Be responsible and use common sense and if it does happen, then it just happens.  Don't let a man tell you that if he sleeps with 50 women he's a "playa," but if you sleep with 50 men you're a "ho."

Spouses

Some people are afraid to let their "freak flag fly" even when they've locked down that special someone.  Why?  Why would you commit the rest of your life with someone you can't be yourself around?

Look, if people remained virgins until marriage then these topics wouldn't be much of an issue.  That's not the case.  A very small group of people in the U.S. make it to marriage as a virgin couple.  Regardless if you're a first-timer or a veteran, you should still be able to be yourself in the bedroom with your spouse.  Don't be afraid to try new things.  If you've always had an open line of communication with your spouse then it shouldn't take them by surprise anyway.  Communication is the key to a happy marriage in and out of the bedroom.

Like everything else in the world, sex can be fun if you have the right approach.  You can enjoy yourself and still wake up in the morning feeling respected if you make the right decisions.  It's more than just 50 pumps and a walk of shame if you choose it to be.  Don't let society dictate what's right for you.  If you want to wait until marriage then I'll encourage you to do so.  If you want to "get it in" before marriage then I'll encourage you to use protection and make sure the person you're with is responsible and respects you.

Either way sex isn't dirty unless you're in the mud.  It's a beautiful thing.

Men Deserve Birth Rights

It can protect your bank account, too.

I'm not a father, but I feel the pain of so many of them who try and do the right thing.  Men have very few rights when it comes to a child's birth.  Some would go as far as to say that they don't have any rights whatsoever. It's sad in a few cases and unfair in a lot of them.

Here are the options that a woman has after she finds out that she's pregnant:

1. She can have the baby.
2. She can abort the baby.
3. She can put the baby up for adoption.
4. She can just leave the baby at a fire station or church.
5. She can tell a man the child is his (even if it isn't) and collect support (if not challenged in court by a certain period of time).

Here are the options that a man has when he finds he got someone pregnant:

1. They can attempt to adopt the baby if she puts it up for adoption.
2. They can opt not to pay child support and risk jail time.

Of course, I'm not an expert so I may have missed something, but that's basically it.  Everything pretty much depends on what the mother decides.  He may want to marry her and be there for the child, but if she wants to abort then he can't stop her.  He may not want to have anything to do with the child at all, but if she wants him to pay child support then he will or go to jail.

Men are at the mercy of women in all matters involving a child's birth.  Even men who aren't even the fathers.  #5 on my list for women alluded to that.  Case in point: let's say that a man and woman are married and she gets pregnant in an affair.  DNA proves that he's not the father, but he could still be forced to pay child support because they're married.  

If a woman tells a man he's the father of a child and he finds out three years later that he isn't, then he's still on the hook for 15 more years if she chooses to stick it to him.  Although he may not have thought he had a reason to petition the courts he still has to "beat the clock" to possibly get out of support.  If not, he could wind up paying for another man's child if she refuses to remove him from the birth certificate.

Do you think that it would work if men had the option to waive their rights to a child without the threat of forced child support?  Would that make women think twice about unprotected sex?

I know that it sounds unfair to the women, but we've already gone over what's unfair to the men and the list is lengthy.  Besides, women are normally the ones carry the child and who wind up being responsible for the child.  So, shouldn't they be the ones who should think twice about birth control since they go through so much?  I know that sounds like the words of a chauvinist, but I think if you looked at that with an unbiased eye that you would at least consider where I'm coming from on it.

Or what about the default for custody disputes being joint custody?  Isn't that what is best for the child anyway?  Why does it always seem that it has to be one parent or the other in these cases?  Why can't it always default to 50/50 custody?

What do you think?  Shouldn't men have some sort of say so in regards to the birth of a child?