(VIDEOS) The New Harlem Shake?

Okay, I'm all for new trends and viral videos, but I'm so confused on this one.  First of all, the Harlem Shake is a dance that's been around for probably more than a decade.  It goes as shown below...

However, it's back again and with a twist.  A very crazy twist, I might add.  People are uploading videos to YouTube of their version of the Harlem Shake and it looks nothing like the original.  In fact, the entire concept of the video is one person dancing until a certain part of the song and then...  well, watch the video below to get  taste of what happens...



So, the videos are generally 30 seconds long and it spotlights one person before everyone else joins him by doing something totally off-the-wall. This one I don't understand, but it makes me literally laugh out loud every time I see it...

 

And here's another...

 

And another...

 

And here's a creative one...

 

So, you get the point by now. This is the new "planking" and I have to admit that it's actually funnier. It requires more creativity, if you ask me. Despite it being extremely stupid, sometimes a little stupidity goes a long way to bringing a smile across sensible people's faces! For those who want to see the Original Harlem Shake, then check the video below and you'll get a feel for it within the first minute...

 

Ask for What You Want

"A closed mouth never gets fed."

That's an old quote that I've taken to heart since my late 20's.  I believe that if there is something or someone that you want, then you should ask for it.  I figured that everyone understood that concept after reaching approximately 30 years old, but that's not the case.  Some grown people would still rather sit in silence than to speak up and possibly get what they want.

I don't get it.

I don't mind hearing the word "no."  If I had a dollar for every time I heard that word, then I would surely be a millionaire by now.  Well, maybe not, but I'd have a disposable income for sure.  But, I prefer to at least ask and hear "no" than to wonder "what if..."

Especially, when it comes to relationships.  Have you ever been in a good relationship with someone only to have someone else you once liked finally speak up?  Or maybe you were the person who didn't speak up only to watch someone you cared about in the arms of another.  Why torture yourself?  You may be thinking, "well, if I'm wrong about that person's feelings about me, then I may lose them forever."

True.  But, if you're right, then you may be with that person forever.  It's all about your perspective.  Will you approach the situation looking for the glass to be half-empty or half-full?  Me?  I'm always banking on the glass being full.  Of course, that means an honest evaluation of the situation and I stress the word "honest."

If I approached a woman I'm friends with and asked to step out of "The Friend Zone" and she says "no," then that's fine.  If she distances herself from me afterwards, then that's fine, too.  Some things are worth the risk if there's a possibility of getting what you want.  Besides, I can easily find other friends, but how easily can you find another person who appears to be right for you as a mate?

Do you believe in asking for what you want or do you wait for it to come to you?

Valentine's Day Dating Ideas

Guys, if you want to get here, then you'll have to put in the work.

It's that time of the year when everyone gets all comfy and cozy with a significant other. The weather outside is cold (in most places), so why not find a way to have a nice evening followed by cuddling in bed afterwards, right? However, here's the dilemma: what do you do for Valentine's Day?

Well, I'm going to make some suggestions and give some Valentine's Day dating ideas to some of the guys out there to help you out!  Am I an expert?  Absolutely not. However, I will do my best to hopefully trigger an idea that you can run with and possibly use.

The first thing to consider is: just how well do you know her?  It's awkward to meet someone new around Valentine's Day because you don't know her expectations of you in regards to the holiday.  What if your first date happens to fall on V-Day?

You don't want to go all-out for a woman you just met at the coffee shop a week ago, so you have to evaluate what works.  If you do too much, then it may creep her out.  Or, it could do the opposite and make her look at you as a sugar daddy.  So, try to find a balance.  If you've never been out with her before and you don't know too much about her, then I would suggest a double date.  No, not the traditional "double date."  I mean Valentine's lunch and Valentine's dinner (if possible).  For lunch, I'd suggest an inexpensive, but decent spot (without the rush) and maybe bring her a single rose to acknowledge that she's your Valentine.

This is when you want to get all of the ice-breaking out of the way and try to get to know her as much as you can on an hour lunch break.  When it's night and the setting is somewhat romantic, the mood and newness can cause some reluctance to open up in conversation.  However, in the brightness of the mid-afternoon in a lunch setting, people tend to be more comfortable and forthcoming.

This will allow you to pick a more romantic spot for the evening.  Avoid the movies with a newbie.  You can't talk in a movie, so you're basically wasting two hours (three hours if you're seeing Django Unchained) of not being able to get face-to-face conversation.  Movies are for couples. You're not a couple yet. I would suggest dinner somewhere there's live music.  Since you've already gotten to know her a little at lunch, you won't have to worry about talking over the music to ask her about the things she likes to do.

Break the ice at lunch, if possible.  That makes dinner more comfortable.

Don't act as if you have something else to do. Forgot to set your DVR for "Scandal?" Well, catch it on Hulu or something, but don't keep looking at your watch. Keep your cell phone on vibrate and make sure that it never leaves your pocket. If someone you're trying to get to know doesn't feel as if she has your attention, then you may lose her interest.

"Oh, no!  I'm missing Olivia Pope and President Fitz!"

Absolutely, do not order more than one drink!  I know that some of you think that you can hold your liquor, but two drinks, especially if you're driving, may cause her to feel as if you're irresponsible.  Now, if you are both known drinkers, then this may not be an issue.  But, if you don't know if or how much she drinks, then don't show her that you're a lush.

"Zzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!"

After dinner, don't get too aggressive.  If she's a more progressive type, then she'll hint that the evening is not done.  Don't try and force yourself upon her or you could be in for a face slap or a knee to "the package."  The last thing you want to do is feel as if you're owed something for dinner.  Dinner bought you her time, nothing else.  If you wanted quid pro quo, then you should have saved your money to go to The Bunny Ranch instead.

"Nothing between us but air and opportunity!  Gimme the wet mouth, girl!"

As for someone that you have dated for a while or married, there are tons of options. However, maybe it's best to do whatever it is she wants to do. Let's face it, fellas: Valentine's Day is a woman's holiday. Sure, some women like to do things for their man on 2/14, but it's usually all about her. A second birthday, so to speak. A third birthday if she celebrates Mother's Day, too. So, make it about her. If this person truly means the world to you, then why not give it to them?  Besides, if you do a good enough job, then you will likely get a gift at the end of the evening... unwrapped.

But, for long term couples, there are some pitfalls that guys need to avoid: Don't make it like any other date. If you and your lady go out to eat regularly, then don't take her to a normal spot (unless requested) on Valentine's Day. Do some research and find something different and special. Those who live in bigger cities absolutely have no excuse for not doing this.  And if you have the time, then maybe a trip should be on the menu to get away from it all.

Your main job is to make the evening unlike any recent evening you've spent with her.  She's already yours, so just show her how much you appreciate it.  The best thing to do is go back to the basics (although you should already be doing them).

Open doors, put your hand in the small of her back and guide her through the door you've opened, pull out her chair, give her your jacket if it's cold, allow her to order first, compliment her appearance, look into her eyes when she speaks (or when she doesn't), leave room for dessert, pay for the meal, find somewhere romantic to park (if it's not too late) like a riverfront or an open area (if the stars are out).

Your Valentine's date with your long term significant other should seem like a perfect first date.

Again, I'm not an expert in the matter, but I do know how to make a woman feel like a woman.  Good luck, fellas!  Ladies, if your man needs a little push in the right direction, then accidentally leave this blog post on your laptop where he can see it! :)

Your date should look like this the entire time or you're not doing something right.

Are Parents Too Soft?

"You can't tell me what to do!  I'm running this!"

I'm not a parent.  I have god kids, but it's nothing like being a parent.  I don't have any problems with them because their parents have done a great job in raising them.  Discipline on my part is pretty few and far between.  Usually, it's just a sit-down discussion about what occurred and how things will be going forward "or else."  But, with them, there's never been an "else."  And even if it were, then that would be up to their parents to handle, not me.

However, when I look at kids today, I see them so much differently than I did when I was one of them.  When I was a kid, I knew what the boundaries were because my parents made them perfectly clear.  I don't get that from a lot of today's kids.  I'm seeing kids who push the envelope because their parents haven't set expectations for them.

My parents always made sure that I knew what the limits were and what the consequences were for exceeding them.  There was rarely a gray area and even when one presented itself, the gray was converted to black and white fairly quick.  My parents knew that all of their decisions were not going to be popular in my eyes.  But, they weren't looking to be popular.  They were looking to be parents.

Some parents think that as long as their kids are fed and sheltered, then they've done their job as a parent.  Uh, yeah, maybe if you're a wolf.  But as a human, a child needs much more nurturing.  You have to teach them honor, discipline and respect.  If you're not doing that, then you're not parenting.

I sometimes wonder to myself, "are parents too soft these days?"

I see so many parents trying to be their child's friend instead of their parent.  A parent's only responsibility, in my opinion, is to raise their child to be the best and productive person he / she can be.  That's your only job. If you can keep your child happy in the process, then that's a bonus, but creating a functioning part of society is the main goal.  You can be an authority in your child's life and still have their respect.  It's all about doing what you're say that you're going to do when it comes to consequences.  In order to get to that point, expectations need to be set.  The kid needs to know that if "A" happens, then "B" will occur.

However, some parents are more interested in pleasing their kids rather than raising them.  On the other hand, some parents are downright pushy with what they make their kids do...

"Please.  Help me.  My mom is crazy..."