Sunday, September 16, 2012

How to Use Men

Him thinking: "How can I sleep with her?" Her thinking: "He's such a dear friend."
Okay, maybe the title "How to Use Men" is a bit misleading.  I'm not referring to using them for money, sex or anything like that.  I'm talking about ladies using men as a resource to understanding other men.

I have a lot of female associates. Luckily, The Mrs. understands this and isn't the jealous type, but I've always attracted women. Not because I'm a Denzel or anything because I'm far from a 10. It's because of the educational value that I offer that benefits my female homies. They're able to use me to help them with their personal relationships with potential suitors. How so? I'll explain.

I've always been one to get caught in "The Friend Zone." Because I was not the aggressive type as a youth, I tended to fall into The Friend Zone rather than The Boyfriend Zone when it came to women. If you're too passive around some women, then they start to view you as a brother rather than a lover. It's an unfortunate thing that I had to deal with until my mid-20's when I started asking for what I wanted instead of waiting for it to be offered. But, that's another story for another day. One of the things women are able to appreciate me for is #1 on the list:

I've been told that I'm brutally honest. Some will even argue more brutal than honest, but whatever. I don't care to sugar-coat anything. For what? Some things just need to be said. It's not to hurt anyone's feelings or anything, but it can be just as hurtful to make something that is bad sound not so bad.

How to let things go
Men don't normally hold grudges like women. Well, these Millenials might since they tend to be more emotional than the generations before them. But, most men tend to stick to archaic ways of resolving problems. When I have an argument with another dude, it may get heated, but it normally ends with us talking sports 20 minutes later. It's no big deal to us.  Women, on the other hand, tend to take something simple and turn it into "The Grudge."  I think that my female friends learn to let things go by following my example.  I don't have time to spend being mad at someone.  If someone can upset you for more than 20 minutes, then they're controlling you.

If a woman comes to me with a relationship issue, then I normally ask the following question: "am I a shoulder to cry on or do you want feedback?"

If it's the latter, then that's exactly what she'll get.  In other words, once she lays out what happened between her and her significant other, then I will let her know (in my opinion) where things went wrong.  That includes if she is part of the problem.  A lot of women I know tend to be cheerleaders when it comes to their female friends' problems.

"Girl, he was wrong to do that to you."

"Girl, I'd leave him if I were you."

"Girl, all men are dogs."

Side note, ladies: You male friend WILL sleep with you if you slip.  LOL!
Nope, not here.  I'm not a rah-rah type of guy.  If you did something wrong, then I will tell you about yourself.  A friend isn't supposed to be on your side all of the time.  Sometimes it takes a good friend to let you know when you are wrong. If he did something vile to you, then I'll tell you to leave him. Not, "it will get better" or "give it a chance." If it's a vile act, then "push on like Flintstone" and find someone else. I can't understand unmarried people who waste time in a relationship only to be in the same spot a year later.

So, to the ladies out there, there are some guys who are more than willing to help you have a better relationship.  Men are not as complicated as you all make us out to be.  In fact, we're quite the opposite.  It's good to have someone in your corner to remind you of that when you start over-thinking things.  "Paralysis by analysis" is the best way to put it.

I want to be the guy to help you ladies out.  I will offer you the best advice that a man can give.  For the low, low price of just $19.95...

Ladies, do you have that one go-to male friend for advice?
Fellas, have you ever played the big brother role for a female friend?


  1. You're right! there are so many "untapped" male friend resources out there! that's where to get the scoop on what's REALLY going on! Just be honest with your partner about it and all should be good. Keep it platonic though! I'm a tough love, tell it like it is, kind of girl and appreciate that back too ... so what advice do you have for me?

    1. Advice for you? Is it possible to "add water to a river?" You're already a wealth of knowledge, SDD! You're the girl that guys gravitate towards because of your realistic approach to relationships. Ladies who are stuck on emotions scare us to death!

      Emotions have its place, but men want someone we can talk to who will have a clear head. Someone who will not feel that simply by "being a woman" that they're entitled to win an argument even if they're dead-wrong. You're already willing to absorb knowledge and listen to men which is why you're such an awesome blogger with a ton of fans!

      Keep doing what you're doing and the man (or men) in your life will be extremely satisfied.


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