John Lennon Shot: 40 Years Later

Most of the things that I ultimately learned about John Lennon came later in life.  I was too young to remember the Beatles.  But I've heard tons of stories about how talented of a musician he was and it is sad that the world lost a musical genius on this particular day 40 years ago.

I remember watching a Monday Night Football game between the Dolphins and Patriots when Howard Cosell announced during the game that Beatles singer, John Lennon, had been shot and killed.  There was no internet back then, so radio and TV were your only sources for breaking news.    

I remember asking my dad why someone would kill somebody who was famous.  I was about 9 years old at the time and I thought that everyone loved celebrities and would never harm one.  I don't recall what his answer was to me, but I just remember going to bed that night wondering what in the world caused someone to shoot John Lennon.  

As I got older, I've learned that celebrity shootings weren't so rare after all and that the reasons for them weren't always good either.  My favorite singer, Sam Cooke, was shot in 1964 in what was called a "justifiable homicide" although most think that he was murdered for being a black man with a white woman.  Marvin Gaye was shot in 1984 during a family dispute.  Selena in 1995 by a crazed fan.  Tupac, Biggie, Roger Troutman, Jam Master Jay.  The list goes on and on.  

Lennon's murder was probably my first introduction to the underbelly of the real world.  There isn't a person on this planet that is loved by everyone.  Someone will always have a problem with you or seek something to gain by harming you (physically or emotionally).  

I'm not a Beatles fan or anything.  I own none of their albums.  But I understand what they brought to society by way of their music and I respect their craft.  It's a shame that folks have prematurely taken from us some of the most gifted people in our society.  

There Are Still Good People Out There

So, back in the summer, some time in August, I ran an errand to pick up some Talk 2 Q face masks from a friend of mine.  I was about five minutes from my destination when I hit a pothole and blew out my passenger side front tire.  I pulled over near a church parking lot and surveyed the damage.  The temperature was in the 90's on this particular day and I'm sure that the heat index was well over 100.  

Anyway, I open my trunk and start to unload my spare tire and equipment that I need to change the flat tire.   As I'm pulling things out of the trunk, a minivan pulls up beside me.  It's a white lady, maybe in her mid-to-late 50's, kind of heavyset.  You know, the type of person you would envision if someone asked you to think of what a grandmother looks like.  She asked me what was wrong and I told her that I had a blowout.  She asked me if I had any water.  I told her that I did have a bottle of water in my car.  She said that it was too hot and I needed more.   

She then proceed to get out of her van and go into her backseat.  She emerged from the other side of the van with six bottles of water in her arms.  She said that if she knew how to change a tire that she would help me, but she wanted me to at least stay hydrated in the process. I thanked her profusely as I accepted the bottles.  She got back in her van, wished me a nice day, and drove off. 

I resumed working on my tire and I realized that my tire iron wouldn't fit the lug nuts on the flat.  So, I'm unable to remove the flat tire and put on the spare.  I'm racking my brain trying to figure out why the tire iron will not fit.  I then realize that without that, I'm stuck.  So, I grab my cell to call my dad to get him to bring his.  It will take him about 30 minutes to arrive, so I sit inside my car to turn on the A/C. 

A mid-sized sedan then pulls up in front of me.  A black man gets out.  He's probably early 30's, wearing an undershirt or what some people refer to as a "wife beater shirt".  Sounds terrible to say that out loud on the air, but you know the shirt.  He has a few tattoos and has the look of a construction worker, so to speak.  He asked me what was wrong and I recited my story.  He told me that he had a lug wrench in my car that would fit my tire.  He retrieved it from his trunk as I slowly got out of the car.   

I called my dad to tell him that I didn't need him to drive all the way across town and while I was doing that, dude started changing my tire.  After I got off of the phone with my dad, I tried to stop him and let him know that I could take it from here.  He simply replied, "It's all good, man.  I used to work at Goodyear.  I can change a tire in my sleep". 

Dude had the tire changed in a matter of minutes.  I offered to Cashapp him some money for his troubles, but he refused.  He said that he saw an opportunity to help and did so.  I thanked him and he drove on. 

I guess I shared all of this just to say that there are still some good people out here.  Social media will make you lose faith in all of humanity because of the level of selfishness and ignorance that we see on there every day.  But, I had two people, each who appeared to be from different walks of life, stop to assist me.  An older white woman and a younger black man.  A conservative-looking lady and an urban-looking, for lack of a better phrase, dude.  

Good people come in all shape, sizes, ages, and colors.  Stop letting social media and the talking heads on the news continue to divide us.  There are no secrets in getting along with people.  Just be decent and the rest will work itself out.

Who Is Responsible for Birth Control?

When two people who aren't married decide to have sex, who is responsible for birth control?  It sounds like a tough question, doesn't it? 

Well, it's not. Despite the fact that people have argued this question for decades is beyond me. The answer is plain and simple: the person who doesn't want the obligation is the one responsible for preventing it. 

Period.  

Guys, let's say that you don't want a child brought into this world, and the reason doesn't matter.  It can be because: 

• You don't want the financial obligation.  
• You don't want the responsibility of being a dad. 
• You don't like the woman you're about to have sex with enough to raise a child with her. 
• Maybe you just hate kids. 

The reason doesn't matter.  It's your responsibility to ensure that conception never happens.  The sperm has to reach the egg in order to create a child.  Stop the sperm and there won't be a child.  You can't blame the woman if she ends up pregnant because you didn't protect yourself.  It's like blaming someone for having a wet floor when the plumbing is leaking.  Yeah, you could put a bucket under the leak and protect the carpet, but isn't the most reliable way to stop the leak is at the source?

If a guy doesn't want a baby then he can just about guarantee that it doesn't happen by simply wrapping up.  That's a lot better for everyone than just having a kid and then abandoning the child and the mother or not taking care of them adequately.  

And ladies, while you're laughing at me getting on the fellas, let me talk to you all for a minute...  

It's not a man's fault if you get pregnant from unprotected sex.  If you think that the pull-out method is foolproof then ma'am, you're the fool and the baby is proof.  Please don't rely on that or trust that he will even do it.

It's pretty much a given that if a woman has a child out of wedlock that she's going to be the primary person to care for it.  And if she doesn't want to deal with factors such as:

• Not being able to afford the child.
• Not having accommodations for someone to watch the child when she's unavailable.
• Not wanting to tether herself to a dude who isn't worth it. 
• Or maybe she, too, just hate kids.

The reason matters not, but, it's still your responsibility to ensure that conception never happens. 

One of my favorite comedians, Tyler Craig, who tragically passed away earlier this year, use to always end his jokes with a moral, so I will end this blog post by saying, "and the moral of the story is:" It takes two to make a baby, but only one to stop it. 

And the person who doesn't want the obligation should be the one to stop it. 

Every time a man goes in unprotected then he's obviously cool with possibly having a baby.  

Every time a woman allows a man to have sex without some form of birth control then she's obviously cool with possibly having a baby as well. It doesn't take a genius to understand how pregnancy works. 

All of these years, men and women have been finger-pointing when the answer to this question has always been and always will be, "you".