Let's be honest, TV determines what we like and dislike. Stupid, right? Well, welcome to America: where most of us get our instructions from the boob tube! Anyway, since we know this fact (and I challenge anyone to prove otherwise about TV thinking for us), let's continue to do even more manufacturing of a news story, shall we?
Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi gained her fame by being a reality show participant on the now-famous "Jersey Shore." Snooki, who is actually Chilean, but raised by Italian-American parents who adopted her, has gone from a no-name to a best-selling author and TV personality. She gained her status through being argumentative, disrespectful, a drunk, and whoreish. Any one of those qualities can get you 15 minutes of fame in today's society, but if you pull off all four, then you're a bonafide star!
Charlie Sheen, born Carlos Estevez, has turned a so-so acting career into a huge money with "Two and A Half Men." A show that I've only watched once or twice, but it was a Top 25 show each week with the Nielsen Ratings. "Chuck" Sheen made over $1.25 million dollars per episode of that show. Per episode! To celebrate, he did more hookers and blow than Keith Richards in his prime or Simon Adebisi on a work-release from "Oz."
So, why not put them together as a couple and let the cash roll in? Charlie, Snooki, get with me and I'll make you some serious cash! First you two need a couples' nickname a la "Bradgelina." I'm thinking something simple like "Charlie Shore" or "Jersey Sheen." Then you can release a sex tape showing how a Treasure Troll and a warlock get down (Bow-chicka-wow-wow). Finally, you can spring your love child on the world! Can you imagine how much magazines will pay for photos of Snooki and Charlie's child?
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| Introducing Snooki Charline Sheen - Age 3 |
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| Snooki Charline Sheen - Age 20 |
Afterwards, I can work with Paula Abdul / Simon Cowell (their love child will be an air-head that wears tight shirts) and Kim Kardashian / Donald Trump (that child be will all booty and hairpiece).