Monday, October 21, 2013

#Relationships Can't Exist Without Trust

Relationships shouldn't be difficult, but we make them that way.  We self-sabotage a good thing more than we realize because of our own insecurities.  It makes me wonder how any of us are in a good relationship given all of the poor examples out there in the world.

How frustrating is it to try and do everything right in your relationship only to have the other person continually side-eye you with a look of suspicion?  No relationship can exist long-term without trust.  But, so many people carry baggage from previous relationships that make them doubt a new love.

For those of you who don't seem to know how to trust, allow me to offer some assistance:

Let it go

Whatever happened in your last relationship, or the one before that, or the one before that, let it go.  You can't expect to be successful in a new relationship if you're treating that person like the old boy/girlfriend.  It doesn't mean that you can't learn from a past heartache and grow from it.  I'm not saying that at all.  I'm saying that the new person isn't the old person.  So, to treat them as if they are is going to automatically result in relationship failure.

Don't play Sherlock without a reason

I'm suggesting that you allow the new person to display signs reminiscent of the previous person before you refer back to that previous experience.  Don't go looking through texts, drawers, etc. for someone who has done nothing to warrant the investigation.  Going "Law & Order" on someone who isn't guilty could result in you infuriating your significant other.  A person who is displaying signs of trust to you will not be that forgiving when you lose their trust.  You can't put toothpaste back into the tube, so once you investigate, then you had better be right in your suspicions.

Ignore the whispers

There will be friends associates who will "put a bug" in your ear that your significant other isn't any good.  For guys, it could be an associate who wants a shot at your woman for himself.  Maybe he's attracted to her and wants to get you out of the way by filling your head with nonsense.  For women, it could be the same as the men or maybe she just doesn't want to share her time with your boyfriend.  There have been incidents of women breaking up a friend's relationship because they miss spending time with their friend.  Don't pay these people any mind.  An outside force should rarely come between you and a relationship.  It's all about you and the other person's actions.

That Mr. Furley side-eye!

In conclusion, good relationships can't exist without trust.  If you're not willing to trust the person you're dating then why are you wasting their time?  (Yes, I said "their time.")  Good people get into relationships with the expectations of their good deeds being reciprocated.  If you're not willing to at least allow them the chance to mess up on their own, then you're never going to be happy in any relationship.

Can a relationship exist if one or both people are suspicious of each other's actions?

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