What Happened to Being Sweet?

That's funny. Women born before 1975 appeared to do it easily.

I'm as old school as they come which means there's a huge disconnect between me and a lot of folks.  Because of that, people younger than me tend to not understand why I shake my head at some of the things going on in today's society.  Especially when it comes to how men and women interact.

I had a gap in dating from 2002-2012 during the time that I was married to my late wife.  Unfortunately, when I got thrust back into the dating world, I had no idea how much things had changed.  What a difference a decade makes!

Right before I first started dating my late wife in 1998, there were two or three other women who had my interest.  All of them brought something different to the table, but the main quality all of them had is that they were sweet.  Not just to me, but to everyone around them.  They knew how to treat me (encouraging).  They knew how to treat their elders (respectful).  They knew how to treat children (nurturing).

Those days are gone.

Fast forward to 2015 and things have changed quite a bit.  Many women try to put guys in "their place."  Many women have no idea how to conduct themselves around their elders without being offensive.  Many women will curse around or even at their kids.  So many women don't carry themselves like ladies.

Because in 2015, it's been put in our heads that none of that stuff matters.  It's okay to do whatever you want and those who don't understand it, forget them!  They don't pay your bills so who cares what they think, right?

One of the main things that made me smile when thinking about a woman is no more.  Sweetness is gone.  Women now are just as hard if not harder than men and it's quite an adjustment.  The sweet, nurturing, inspirational ladies that once made me feel 10 feet tall are rarer than ever these days.  To some women, to be sweet is to be weak.  If she's too kind to a man then he may use it as leverage in the relationship.  Can't have a guy thinking that you actually like him, right?

A man is supposed to be a visionary, leader, teacher, cultivator, provider, and protector.  All six of those things come to us naturally, but society teaches us how to suppress them.  The same applies to women.  Social media and TV encourages women to not worry about their reputation.

Look at that photo of Nicki Minaj and read her quote again.  She thinks that being "super-sweet," "sexy", or "nice" is hard?

SMH.


This ad has nothing to do with this post other than the word "sweet," but it's a hilarious ad to me.

Lessons in Accountability from a 12-Year Old

I was at my god son's football game last Monday. On their only touchdown play, he was called for holding and the penalty resulted in nullifying the TD.

He was taken out of the game and the coach talked to him about what happened.  His body language on the sidelines showed that he was angry with himself.  After the game, he was visibly upset and said that he "let the team down."

Words can't express how proud that I was to hear him say that.  This is a 12-year old thinking about his team when most adults can only think about themselves.

If everyone took the same approach to accountability as he does then how much better would we all be for it?  If everyone at work gave 100% then our jobs would be easier.  If everyone at home gave 100% then our family lives would be easier.

Take a lesson from a 12-year old playing a game and make sure that you're accountable for your actions.

My god son may have gotten a penalty, but he's still my MVP.

There's An Art to Complaining

Written on 10/5/15...

I'm sitting at a place called Upton Tire Pro.  They do different automotive services from tire replacements to oil changes.  I'm using their waiting room computer right now.  I like to write when I'm here because I can usually get up to an hour of uninterrupted writing.

I come here regularly, but I have had my run-ins with the company.  They haven't always called me when my vehicle was ready and they've completely forgotten my car being parked out front on two occasions. However, they do good work and they're convenient to my home, so I continue to go (for now).

Today there is a man who has come to the counter on three separate occasions to complain about something.  He's a mid-50's white guy with frizzy hair and what appears to be a nasty cold.

He first complained about how the company's website timed out on him while trying to book an appointment for an oil change.  In fact, I heard that story three times as he repeated it to the people in the waiting room.

He then complained about how he wasn't feeling well, but decided to come up here anyway.  He figured that he could get an oil change and tire rotation on a Monday because Mondays "aren't busy."  What exactly he's basing that on I have no idea.  Every business is busy on a Monday these days.

As this guy is complaining, I'm sitting over here typing and hoping that he doesn't look over my shoulder to see this.  His whiny and pathetic sounding voice is funny and sad at the same time.  I don't know whether to fall out of my chair laughing or give him a hug and some chicken noodle soup.  Either way, I can tell that the employees are sick of him.

30 minutes pass and Mr. Sniffles approaches the front desk once again and says, "what's the purpose of getting an appointment if you're not going to work on the car?  My car hasn't moved."

I actually agree with his point, but still, there aren't too many places that are on-time for appointments aside from movie theaters.  He asks for his keys because he's "sick and didn't want to come in the first place."

The employee doesn't say a word and hands him his keys.  The man repeats his story from Chapter 1 about the appointment system not working, the fact that he's sick, and how appointments mean nothing at Upton Tire Pro to the employee who is looking down at her computer and ignoring him.  Afterwards, he turns and leaves as the room quietly watches.

I have nothing against complaining, but there's an art to it.  Some people are really good at it while others suck.  This guy fits into the "suck" category.  You can't effectively complain if you're annoying.  And the consensus in the waiting room based on the convo that occurred after dude left was that he was annoying.

In my opinion, complaining only works if you can get the other person to respond to what you're saying.  Asking questions that force them to show their incompetence by answering usually does the trick!  You have to establish guilt in order to have something done about it.  Making them hate you isn't going to amount to anything being done to resolve your issue.  Well, that's unless the employee actually cares.  And where can you find an employee like that outside of Chick-Fil-A?

At least he helped me pass the time.  They're just getting to my 2:00 PM appointment at 2:39 PM.  Oh, well.  I kinda know that goes with the territory with most garages.  All you can do is grin and bear it or start changing your own oil.