I Hate This Hyper-Sensitive Society

Petty (adjective) - of little importance; trivial.

This word describes so many people that I know in this country.  Too often, I see people take nothing and turn it into something negative.  The reason: people love to be victims.  A lot of us tend to enjoy the "Me vs. The World" mentality.

Unfortunately, as a black man, I see a ton of pettiness in my community.  In fact, there are a lot of black people who embrace pettiness as if it's something in which to have pride.  I recently saw a "Black, Educated, and Petty" t-shirt on a young lady downtown.  All I could think to myself is, "why are you embarrassing yourself by wearing that ignorant shirt?"

I hate this hyper-sensitive society that we live in today.  No matter what you say, someone can take it, twist it, and make it look as if you are out to get them when you're not.  And if you say something that someone deems as criticism, and they are not sure if you're referring to them or not, then they'll use this other dumb term to justify their negative feelings: "throwing shade".

You'll have to go to the Urban Dictionary for the actual definition, but essentially, it means to say negative things about a person, but to try and do it in a discrete or indirect manner.  So, the person can only assume that you're talking about them because their name is never mentioned.  Almost like a subtweet, for those familiar with that.  It's why you can sometimes post something at random on social media and later get an inbox message from some offended follower who assumed that you were talking about them.

What's the point of even speaking if people are going to hear what they want to hear instead of what's actually being said?

From the President on down, people get in their feelings way too often and it's frustrating.  No one can have an opinion any more without someone being bothered by it.  What happened to the "sticks and stones" mentality?

Social media was supposed to be a great means of rekindling friendships and networking, but it's turned the U.S. into a country filled with chumps.  Instead of taking advantage of an amazing opportunity to get viewpoints from people from all over, we take sides with those who agree with us and bash those who don't.  Gone are the days when two people can just disagree and move on or maybe even actually learn from one another.

If Jesus came back today, he'd probably turn around and leave.  SMH.

The 1st Time I Felt Black Pride

Back in my teens in the late 80's, I developed more of a sense of pride in my race. It's not to say that I never had any, but it really didn't materialize from a knowledge perspective until in my teens, thanks to music. Specifically, rap music. 

A lot of 80's rap taught its black listeners that we were more than just second class citizens. It made the listeners understand that we were descendants of kings and queens. It made listeners know that there was value in our skin color.

There were quite a few artists who contributed to me blossoming in my blackness.  Listening to Public Enemy introduced me to the Black Panther Party and their contributions to black society. Boogie Down Productions educated me on how the legal system and school system have set black people up to fail. Ice-T educated me on life as a hustler and how the perceived "high life" was only temporary, thanks to jail or death.  There were a number of others I learned things from as well.

Once I developed that pride in myself, then I found pride in those who look like me. Especially black women.  I started to recognize that the media could not dictate what a beautiful woman was to me.  I saw the beauty in dark skin and full lips.  I understood what they represented in my heritage.  I went from falling head over heads for television's definition of beauty and started to appreciate so many of the natural beauties that I encountered regularly.  Who knew that music could give me so much data in which to research and learn about my true self?

Fast forward to today and 80's style of conscious rap is no longer played on the radio.  Despite its educational value to the black community, it's no longer mainstream.  Today's mainstream music usually contains wasteful and destructive messages.  Not just towards our communities, but towards our black women as well.

We need to find some way to reverse this trend.  We need to teach our youth that there's value to our black skin and it should be protected at all times.

Leave @DemetriaObilor and Women Like Her Alone

Jan Shedd took to Facebook on Wednesday to call out Channel 8 in Dallas’ new traffic reporter, Demetria Obilor, who she said was a “size 16/18 woman in a size 6 dress.” 

“Has anyone seen Channel 8’s new morning traffic reporter? Her name is Demetria Obilor & she’s a size 16/18 woman in a size six dress and she looks ridiculous,” Shedd wrote in the now-deleted post.  -- NY Daily News

Here we go again.  I can't believe that in almost 2018, we still have to deal with the level of hate that we see in this country.  Then again, why should I be surprised?  Social media has given the haters of America the illusion of being experts in the criticism of their targets.

There's a traffic ensemble anchor in Dallas, Texas by the name of Demetria Obilor.  As you can see by the photos, she's extremely attractive.  However, that's working against her in the eyes of some of her viewers.

Here's the thing: you can be a TV personality and be attractive, but you have to do it by "societal standards".

What does that mean?  You can't be urban with it.  No extreme curves.  Booty, hips, and thighs need not apply when it comes to being a female sex symbol in the U.S.  In other words, you can't be too black with it (despite the fact that some white women pay top dollar for surgical enhancements to "black it up", for lack of a classier phrase).

We need to find a way to put a stop to this behavior.  First of all, she's a news personality who is doing her job.  Just like all of us, she has a right to choose whatever profession that she wants.  And let's throw in the fact that this Nigerian/American was born this way.  Why should she change who she is genetically because Jan Shedd and a few others think that she's too hot for TV?  Should she wear a muumuu instead of a dress that fits?

Secondly, she has the right to flip her profession into whatever entrepreneurship she chooses.  That includes recognizing the fact that people are enamored with her looks and turning that into a modeling/speaking/hosting hustle.  I'm a firm believer in using what you got to get what you want.  That means she can be a news personality and a model simultaneously.

And lastly, when are we going to accept the fact that it's okay for women to be sexy and respected at the same time?  Why does it have to be one or the other?  Can a lady be good-looking and knowledgeable?  Does credibility only come in a size 4 with straight blond hair and blue eyes?

Leave the Demetria Obilors and women like her alone.  Every year there's someone different who catches backlash for having a banging body on a newscast (usually black or Latina).  Ironically, the criticism seems to come almost exclusively from women.  And ladies should be supporting her instead of tearing her down.

If  a shirtless Dwayne "Rock" Johnson did local weather, do you think guys would be on Facebook saying that it's too much?  Hardly.  We'd either say that it was cool or we would just change the channel.

It's time out for the foolishness, ladies.  Stop shaming these ladies just because your man is watching a lot more news than he did a few months ago.