Being A Good Guy Means Nothing

Hear me out before jumping to conclusions over my eye-catching title.  I'm definitely not saying that fellas out there should resort to dog-like tactics and abandon doing the right thing when it comes to women.  I just wanted to share a perspective that one of my Facebook friends posted.

I have never really considered this particular perspective before, but when I truly considered what was being said, it made a lot of sense to me.

Here's the post:

FYI: Guys please go sit down with that a woman don't want a good man mess/excuse when she's just not interested in you... First of all just because "you" perceive yourself to be a good man doesn't mean that's what I see... Everyone's definition of good is different... Second of all even if you are a good man doesn't mean we would be good together.... Therefore,I would suggest that you take your good arse,on your good way and have a good day!! 👉🏽🚪Everyone feels that they are a good catch in someway! GTFOH!!! Oh yes Happy Sunday!!

Simple and to the point.  Now, I don't know what prompted her post, but it hit home with me after I considered what was being conveyed.  I've always been respectful, giving, honest, etc.  Things that a lot of women say that they want in a man.  But, I lost sight of the fact that it doesn't guarantee me anything.  No one owes me a date or anything simply because of how I evaluate myself.

I see on it TV as well as read tweets and posts of women who say "all I want is a good man."  And I bought into that and took it at face value.  A mistake that I'll not make again.  There's more to the statement that's left unsaid.  "All I want is a good man... who is (insert height here) or (insert size here) or (insert style/swag here) or (insert career here), etc."  To me, that's what is not being said when that statement is being made.

And you know what?  There's absolutely nothing wrong with that!  We all want what we want.  Countless times in my life, I've shied away from certain women because I didn't like how they dressed, I didn't like how they spoke, or maybe they just weren't attractive to me.  There are a number of reasons all of us pass up on someone who may actually be a nice person, but they just don't do it for us for some reason.

As a guy, it's very hard to admit that a lady just may not be into you.  Especially when you feel as if you have the world to offer her.  A lot of us want to justify how we select our mates yet criticize why others don't select us.  That's just simply unfair.

So, I thank Kandi for opening my eyes to something that I've never considered.  You don't blame a person for not seeing you the way that you see yourself.  If it's something about you that she doesn't like that you can change, then fix it.  If it's something about you that you can't change, then just find someone who has more of an appreciation for whatever that is.  Either way, being a good guy means nothing if a woman just isn't into you.

With permission from Kandi

Does Jackson, #Mississippi Deserve Entertainment?

Another opportunity missed in the capital city of the Magnolia State. The state of Mississippi is known for its parks, waterways, and museums. All of that is an awesome opportunity to educate yourself on nature, history, and more. However, what's a state without a little fun now and then? And what's a capital city without family fun events to treat the kids?

For those not familiar with the capital city of Jackson, there really isn't a lot to do when it comes to tourist entertainment. We locals can usually find things to do to occupy our time now and then.  Whether it's eating out or visiting live music venues. But, visitors don't have it as easy. There just isn't enough on the menu to make someone say, "hey, let's spend a weekend in Jackson!"

The citizens have blamed the politicians for this dilemma and normally, I would agree with them. But, not this time. This time the citizens appear to have no one to blame but themselves.

An event called "Slide the City" started advertising on social media towards the beginning of Spring. They were taking advanced sales for admission to the biggest water slide the city has ever seen. It's a huge, mobile water slide that tours cities across the nation and allows people to slide as far as three blocks. What kid wouldn't enjoy a water slide that goes that far? You would think that people would be all over it and that the advanced orders would sell out quickly. Wrong.

Welcome to Jackson, Mississippi.

A place where people complain that there needs to be more to do, but won't support what's already here or wants to come here. SMH. We've seen miniature golf courses, go-kart tracks, bowling alleys, arcades, movie theaters, and more all go the way of the dinosaur over the past couple of decades. Once the newness wore off, people stopped going. Once they stopped going, the places basically ran themselves into the ground.

When I was growing up, we had four or five movie theaters in the city. However, we haven't had one in roughly 20 years and I'm thankful that someone is finally building one that opens next year. I wouldn't be surprised if Jackson was the only capital city in the nation without a movie theater.

I know that the citizens aren't 100% the blame for the lack of things to do. I just get frustrated when there's an opportunity to support something and we choose not to do it. We had a Strikeforce mixed-martial arts event back in 2010 at the Jackson Convention Center. Showtime was there to film the event and there was a huge production behind it. I got my tickets and had a great time watching the fights. But, the enthusiasm and support just wasn't there.  I don't think that Showtime has been back to Jackson since and I'm guessing that they won't ever again.

It's time to stop blaming politicians for everything. Yes, they can do more to help the city's entertainment venues grow, but we need to do our part as well to entice entertainment opportunities to come. Businesses see other businesses pulling out of the city and it deters future businesses from coming.

Besides, to deny a water slide in August in Mississippi is just craziness to me. It's 95+ degrees and you don't want to slide in water for a weekend?  Now the kids who had their parents pre-order their tickets are disappointed.  They have nothing different to discuss when school returns.

I guess it's just another day in the capital city.

Blogaversary: Year 5!

Has it been five years already?  Time flies when you're having fun, I guess.  I know that I haven't been blogging as often as I once did.  I've had other things to distract me from blogging, but I still enjoy it.  It's still somewhat therapeutic to get on here and type away about the many things that occur in the world that irk me.  I also enjoy sharing funny stories from time-to-time, although it's been a while since I've done so.

But, I want to thank all of you who have taken the time to read at least one blog post.  I don't know how many consistent readers I have these days.  I used to have regular commenters, but that's a thing of the past.  Most people would rather comment on a Facebook post than a blog these days.  At least that way you will look smart in front of people you know.  And I totally get that.

However, it doesn't deter me from posting.  I've gotten over 935,000 hits in five years.  I know people still read even if they don't comment and I'm very thankful for that.  I will continue to share my perspectives on current events and relationships.  I will allow a sneak peek into my life regarding my search for the right woman, milestones/achievements, and stories of my family.  I will continue to use my blog as a platform to promote others who are doing much worthier things than me.

Hopefully, I can get another five years out of this thing.  So, sit back, relax and thank Q for common sense.  Because some things still just need to be said.  And I'm that dude to say it.

You Shouldn't Have to Ask to Be Pleased

What is one of many things that makes someone feel special?  One answer is getting something that they want or need unexpectedly.  Think about opening a present on Christmas Day or on your birthday and seeing that one thing that you really wanted or needed.  That's the same feeling people should get throughout the course of a relationship.

We guys are notorious for not being thoughtful.  We'll wait until Valentine's Day or her birthday to do something that a woman can appreciate.  And even then some guys let certain dates sneak up on them and they rush to the mall without giving the gift much thought.

Women are in the same boat, too.  Some men don't require much yet some women simply don't respect the things men ask for.  Some women are so stuck on being treated like a queen that they forget that a king is part of the royal package.

Why do we make it so hard to give our mates what they want/need without them having to demand it?  People shouldn't have to constantly ask to be pleased by their mates.  If you have no intention of pleasing your mate then maybe you should be by yourself. At least there's no pressure in disappointing yourself.

People should listen to their mates and absorb what they say.  If she says that she's tired of the front door squeaking then don't wait on her to directly ask you, "will you fix the squeaky door?"  Take action and get it done so when she comes home the next time she'll notice that it didn't squeak.

And ladies, when he tells you that he had a tough day at work, don't act like it means nothing.  Some women are quick to say that "men don't open up" yet when we do, who is listening?  Just because we're guys we're "going to be alright" and don't need a compassionate listener now and then?

If a relationship is going to be successful then thoughtfulness has to exist.  Your list of priorities should include doing something to make your mate smile.  If that's not happening regularly then it's just a matter of time before unhappiness ensues and the relationship dies.

Women Are Definitely Calling The Shots in Dating

(Way) Back in the day, let's say the early 60's, guys could call the shots when it came to courting. Men were the bread winners and that afforded them some luxuries when it came to a mate selection. A lot of guys had the ability to choose exactly what they wanted in a mate because at the time, most women were simply looking for security. They wanted a man who could pay the bills and be a provider to a family.

Fast forward to 2015 and the roles have completely changed. Guys are no longer sole providers of households. In fact, guys are rarely providers of households in a lot of communities across the country which is a blog post within itself. Ladies have gotten more educated and have increased their earning potential. The result: now they are the ones making the mate selection.

The days when a woman only cared about security are just about gone. Now that she has her own, she can do what the guys once did exclusively: she can pick and choose a mate as she pleases.

For the old school, provider type of guy, this is a huge dilemma.  Because now, despite being reliable, responsible, and secure, you have to be attractive, exciting, and generous in order to "get the girl" in so many cases.  She doesn't have to go for reliable, responsible, and secure any more because she can provide all of that for herself.  If she so chooses, she now has the luxury of going after knuckleheads built like Vin Diesel because she can pick up the slack.

Oh, snap!  That sucks for a reliable, responsible, secure dude like me (not remotely built like Vin Diesel)!  LOL!  If I don't hit the gym hard then I'll be relegated to a side piece (at best) whose only responsibility is taking her out on dates while "Vin Diesel" gets the goods after I drop her off at home!  (drops down and does 50 push ups...)

Okay, maybe I only did 22 push ups, but that's beside the point.  In all seriousness, guys who look to do the right thing and treat people the right way can't be worried about what the selection process some women have adopted.  There are still some women who just want a nice guy who treats people right (call me).

Besides, who can blame women for doing the same thing that men did decades ago?  Ladies can now enjoy a bigger dating pool because security is no longer a worry. Now the guys can work on being "suitable husbands" and concentrate on "looking the part."  I know a few guys who are "gym rats" that farm themselves out to multiple women.  They understand that they're only wanted because of their bodies and they are more than happy to oblige these women who really don't seek much else.

I don't knock those brothas one bit for reaping the benefits of toned biceps and ab muscles.  Maybe I would be less reliable, responsible, and secure, too if I had six pack abs instead of a keg!  Only time will tell... :)

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