"Thick" or "Fat"? #BodyTypes

There's always been a debate every since the justification for extra pounds was created.  Back in the day you were either skinny, average, or fat.  Fast forward to 2014 and there are all kinds of way to categorize body types, but the one that seems to be the most misinterpreted is "thick."

Being "thick" falls in between being average and being fat.  It's a word that started in the African-American communities to justify the curviness of the average black woman.  Black people didn't like being categorized by white Americans' standard so "thick" was created.  After all, we black men tend like a little more meat on the bone than white guys.  However, I do think that things are changing and Kim Kardashian and Jennifer Lopez are the reasons why.  This lovely honey on the right here would have been considered "fat" by most people's standards back in the early-to-mid 90's, but today she's "thick" or "curvy."

But, where do you draw the line?  Where does "thick" become "fat"?

Like beauty, size is a matter of interpretation.  There is no universal standard.  It's all about what you prefer.  I prefer curves, so although the actual weight doesn't matter to me, I do pay attention to what's proportionate.  And I think that's the standard that a lot more people are following today.  Is there some resemblance to an hourglass shape?

You can find 100 guys and ask them to take a look at the photo to the right and it may result in 50 each saying "thick" or "fat" depending on their preference.  There's someone for everyone, so in the grand scheme of things it really doesn't matter.

However, I'll give you my definition of what makes someone "thick" and what makes them "fat."  Well, I can't say that it's my definition since I found the photo on the web, but I'll just say that I agree with it.  The photo below appears to be an accurate depiction of what I consider the difference between the two categorization of sizes.

The person on the left would fall into the "fat" category because a lot of her weight is above the waist line.  The "thick" lady gets that label because her weight is carried in her hips and thighs which to me is an attractive quality.

I'll post a few more photos below and you can comment and let me know which ones you consider "thick" and which ones you consider "fat."  At the end of the day, it doesn't matter.  If you're a woman and you feel comfortable and healthy, then do you.  If you're a guy then go for whatever floats your boat.  There's no wrong answer here.

Comment according to letters.  This is Person "A."

B

C

You may recognize person D.

E

Anyone of these in F considered fat?

Win A Signed Copy of "Recommitted: It's Not Too Late" by @CeliMarieDean

Where is Your Work Ethic?

I'm no longer the ball of energy that I once was in my 20's.  When I was 27 years old, I had a full-time job and two part-time jobs.  All of them were Monday through Friday.  So, I got up at 430 AM each day and usually made it home around 1030 PM or midnight depending on the day of the week.  I worked that crazy schedule for a year to pay off credit card debt as well as have some spending cash for partying.  I had at least two jobs from 1997 until 2006.  I wanted to eliminate debt and stockpile a savings so that when I got older life would be easier.  I knew that it was hard work, but I was willing to do it to better myself  and better my position. A lot of people don't have the same mindset these days...

Today, people want things the easy way.  They're not always willing to sacrifice their time and energy to better themselves.  They essentially want "something for nothing."  Well, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand why this is the norm now.  It's now the norm because people are able to do just that.  Get "something for nothing."

We see it with our children.  Kids have electronics that cost parents thousands per year and for what?  Well, we parents say it's for their safety.  "Little Johnny needs to be able to call home."  To me, that's translation for: "his friend has an iPhone, so we have to get him one so that he doesn't feel bad."

We see it in adults.  Guys don't have to display much chivalry and/or class to get sex from a woman now.  Why?  Because there are so many thirsty women who have little-to-no requirements to give it up.  Would you work for something that's being thrown at you?  "Yes, Johnny does cheat and sell drugs, but he can change if he becomes a father."  Translation: "I don't think that I can do any better than him."

SMH.  But, it all starts with the children.  Because today's children are tomorrow's adults, so if you fix the kids then the rest will fix itself.  Make them earn what they get.  Make them get good grades.  Make them do chores.  Make them respect themselves so that they may learn to respect others and we can nip this thing in the bud.

America needs to put a hard hat and some work boots on more than any other country right now.  Stop allowing this laziness to go on when you have the power to fix it yourself.

Are you ashamed at how lazy we've become in society?

Ladies, Your Bodies Are Perfect!

Too often ladies in relationships have complained about their looks.  I get that.  We men are visual creatures, so we appreciate good-looking women.  But, some women take things too far.  You buy into what they're selling on TV and in the magazines and you short-change yourself.

Don't do it.

First of all, I'm not saying don't exercise or anything like that.  Exercise has benefits for what's inside your body as much as it does your outside.  It is very important, but don't think it should be a full-time job and lose hair over it.  Besides, if you're in a relationship, then the only person you should focus on pleasing (besides yourself) is your mate.

If your significant other is happy, then why get depressed over how your body looks?  Sure, it helps to be happy with yourself, but your significant other is supposed to make you feel sexy.  If they're doing their job, then there's no need to stress about losing a few pounds or having a rounder butt or whatever it is that you think you need.  Besides, many women only need "enhancements."

• Maybe your makeup doesn't compliment you.  You don't want to look like Ronald McDonald.
• It could be that you don't wear clothes that truly fit your body type.  Can't shop at Wet Seal with a Lane Bryant body.  
• It's possible that you need to step your shoe game up.  Sneakers probably shouldn't be an everyday option for women over 21.

There are plenty of "tweaks" that most women can make that can significantly enhance their look.  I've seen too many examples of "the girl next door" turning into a Hollywood starlet almost over night.  That could be you if you simply take time to honestly evaluate yourself to determine what would accent your look.

Don't stress.  Don't spend money on unnecessary surgeries.  Don't kill yourself in the gym.

A lot of you may not think that you have the perfect body, but you're perfect for someone and that is what's important!  Embrace what you have and if you need to "fine tune" yourself, then do so.  But, be happy with who you are and stop letting society dictate what is beautiful.

A good man wants a good woman.  If she looks like a model, then great, but the main thing is that she's good for him.  We do want you to look good, but we only care about our standards.  My lady doesn't have to be a perfect 10.  She just has to be perfect for me.

Do we put way too much focus on trying to look like what we see on TV and magazine covers?

Don't believe the hype.

Why Your Child Stops Trying

Where are the fans?

Do you see that field?  This was taken during a high school football game between the Lanier Bulldogs (Jackson, MS) and the Germantown Mavericks (Gluckstadt, MS).

The schools are only separated by 21 miles yet the photo reveals the handful of fans who came out to support Lanier.  A 20-30 minute drive yielded just a few supporters.

I attended the Lanier / Callaway game a couple of weeks ago.  The game took place just minutes from Lanier High School yet there were barely any fans there.

Before that game started, I watched both teams warm up.  I mentioned to a peer of mine how bad Lanier's body language was.  Players were barely jogging instead of sprinting.  There was no enthusiasm whatsoever during pregame warm ups and it translated to their game performance.  Callaway slaughtered Lanier 59-0 and the players didn't seem too concerned about it.  The Lanier coaches didn't either.

Here are some of the other losses Lanier has received this season: 42-8, 67-0, 35-6, 68-16, 62-22, 50-0, and 56-20 to Germantown.  The only close game they've had this season is an 8-0 loss to a not so good Wingfield team.

I personally think that these kids have mentally checked out and I blame the parents.  The parents should be ashamed of themselves to not travel 21 miles to see their children play.  Also, the school should be ashamed for not having a pep squad and band attend as well.  Don't they have a responsibility to provide support as well?  After all, interscholastic competition is a promotion of brands (schools).

This is a school with almost 1,000 students and more championship basketball banners than probably any school in the state.  On game day during basketball season, you can't even squeeze into the gym.  But, if a child participates in anything other than basketball, then I guess it's not important enough for a parent to bother.

The result of this behavior is that the kids lose the desire to try since it appears that no one takes them seriously.  That's a problem.  There are way too many children looking in the audience for their family members only to not see them.  It can be a sporting event, music/dance recital, theatrical presentation, or whatever.  The day a child stops looking for their parents is a sad day!  And Talk 2 Q Show Legend, M&M, once said, "an unloved child is a dangerous adult."

Now, I know in 2013, people have to work.  There are some parents who just can't attend each and every game.  But, something has to be done to provide representatives to support these kids.  I have no allegiance to them at all and I couldn't help but feel sorry for them during the game.  It was pathetic.

Can someone explain to me what makes a parent not care?

When @SwetaSpeaks, You Should Listen!

Follow her on Twitter at @SwetaSpeaks

We all need inspiration now and then. Something that makes us toughen up and focus on a goal. It's not always easy which is why having an outside influence is not uncommon for people who achieve greatness. Now, greatness can come in many forms. It can come in the form of a personal goal like weight loss or in the form of higher success like being the President of the U.S.

Regardless of what pinnacle you seek in life, it's important to have a plan.  Some people achieve financial success from being right place, right time (lottery winners, YouTube overnight trenders, etc.) So, a plan is not required, but it's important.

The role of parents include teaching a child how to plan, but in today's society, parents are working so hard just to keep the lights on, that maybe that gets neglected.

That's why it's nice to have an option such as someone like Sweta Patel.  Sweta has spoken to young people all over the world to help them deal with the things that maybe others have not broached.  She teaches them how to have a plan to get through college and life with as little-to-no difficulty as possible.

Sweta experienced some trials and tribulations in her life in regards to not getting along with her father to almost being consumed by college party life.  I will speak to her on Sunday, April 26th, to discuss how young women can enjoy their early years of life (college age), remain financially responsible and avoid heartbreak.

Stream the podcast here and learn more from Sweta and how to obtain her "Watch Out Books!"

Caucasian Persuasion on Asian

Now that I have your attention...

Americans have a powerful influence on the rest of the world (not always good either). People love our music, our cinema and our fashion. However, it seems that there is even more of an influence on other countries than we realize: they want the American look as well.

Wait. You didn't think that this post was going to be something sexual because of the title, did you? LOL! You dirty bird! Anyway, even one of the most prominent races on the planet (and prettiest per this doctor), don't mind being a little bit American. Although this story isn't anything new, I recently got reminded of it when I stumbled across an old Tyra Banks Show video.

Asian eyelid surgery. Some Asians are getting surgery to remove the familiar eye shape to get it to resemble more of a American (or European) look. Getting a crease stitched into the eyelid achieves that look for them. It's said to be a painful surgery that can cause discomfort for up to 10 days, yet many Asians brave it to seek their new look. A recipient of this surgery would also have to deal with the criticism from the Asians who consider the surgery "self-mutilation."

Now, I've heard of Asians getting contact lenses to have blue eyes, but is the surgery going a little bit too far? Don't get me wrong. A lot of people would argue that any cosmetic surgery is denying who you are and going too far. I can't say that I agree with that, but when it comes to doing something that's manipulating your heritage, is that going too far? Some Asians are upset with the concept and call these people "Twinkies" (yellow on the outside / white on the inside). According to a few forums that I read, there are some Asian-Americans who consider the term a compliment as they feel priviledged to have white features.

I think back to how so many black people got upset with Michael Jackson when he slowly transformed from a young, black boy to an older, white woman lighter skin. Black people were outraged over the skin-lightening despite Jacko's pleas that it was due to a skin disease. Black people are now up in arms over recent photos of Beyonce' in which her skin was lightened for the photos.

So, don't just think that there's only a Caucasian persuasion on Asian. It extends to many different races, if not all. Imagine that. All of these years I'm thinking that we black people were the trendy ones, but I've never heard of an Asian craze for full lips and apple bottoms. Hmmph. Black people need to step their game up. :)

What's your take on it all? Is it okay to change your look to whatever you want?