When Money Becomes the Matchmaker (or Matchbreaker)

💔 Love doesn’t pay the bills — and sometimes, it doesn’t even survive them.

You know how folks say “love conquers all”? Wait until unpaid bills, bad credit scores, and impulsive shopping sprees show up. So many people have gone on record to say that they have (or would) end a relationship due to financial incompatibility.

Should they be looked down upon because of that?

Why Financial Compatibility Is a Big Deal

Here in the U.S. a lot of people prefer to be financially compatible with their partner, and I'm guessing that a majority of them would say it’s very important. 

Still, it’s no surprise that misaligned values when it comes to finances can derail things. Incompatible partners frequently have issues with their mates:

• Overspending 

• Bad budgeting

• Not saving enough (if at all)

• Not making enough money

A lot of people raise an eyebrow to those who may inquire about finances in the relationship, but at some point, it's something that needs to be discussed. Can you support me? Or will you bring me down? It matters.

Generation Gap + Money Fights = Trouble

Here’s a twist: younger generations seem more likely to battle over money. Millennials and Gen Z report more frequent money fights than older couples from what I've read in a couple of articles. Also, men are more likely than women to claim they fight often about money.

Another surprise: a lot of young couples (and a few older ones) avoid talking about money altogether. And that's because they know that their views don't align with their partners. Rather than get on the same page and handle the household as a unit they choose to withhold information to not be seen as a liability. After all, them doing what they want to do is more important than unity so "quiet is kept".

But guess what — silence is dangerous.

Talking Money Isn’t Optional — It’s Essential

Here’s some “Q wisdom” (I just made that up) to live by if you want your relationship to survive:

1. Don’t ambush your partner.
   Surprise financial interrogations never go well. Let your partner know ahead of time you want to talk money. 

2. Make it a chat, not an audit.
   You don’t have to dump all account statements on the table right away. Start with attitudes, priorities, dreams. (“If you won $1 million, what’s the first thing you’d do?” is a great icebreaker.) 

3. Expect disagreement.
   You will see things differently. That’s okay. What matters is how you negotiate those differences — with patience, respect, and openness.

4. Watch for refusal.
   If your partner shuts down the talk or refuses entirely, that’s a red flag. You can’t build trust or shared goals if one side holds back. You may be on your way to a "money fight".

5. Revisit financial alignment periodically.
   People change. Goals shift. What felt compatible at 30 years old might feel suffocating at 35. Keep the conversation ongoing.

Bottom Line (see what I did there?)

Money is one of those things that touches everything — and in relationships, it can either be a solid foundation or a hidden fault line.

If you want your love to last, talk money early, talk money often, and talk money without judgment. Align enough on values and behaviors so that when storms come (and they will), you’re paddling in the same direction.

And if you’re ever wondering whether your partner is “the one” — see if you can talk openly about finances, without defensiveness, before you get too invested emotionally. That one conversation might save a lot of heartache.

The Problem With Modern Parenting

Parenting in today’s world often looks very different from the past. Many parents think they’re setting their children up for success, but in reality, some modern parenting habits may be leaving kids unprepared for the challenges of adulthood. From over-scheduling to over-protecting, parents may be unintentionally stunting their children’s growth.

It’s common today to see parents doing almost everything for their kids. Instead of encouraging independence, many parents swoop in at the first sign of struggle. Children aren’t expected to problem-solve on their own, and as a result, they miss out on the confidence and resilience that come from overcoming obstacles. 

When I was growing up, I spent afternoons playing with neighbors, navigating social conflicts naturally. Now, most interactions happen in structured, adult-supervised environments—whether it’s sporting activities, music lessons, or whatever after-school program comes to mind. While these activities can be cool, they shouldn't replace the unstructured play that teaches kids how to negotiate, compromise, and build real friendships. "Arranged" friendships shouldn't be the only form of building camaraderie.

And what's even more tripped out is that many kids today have busier schedules than their parents. Between soccer, gymnastics, and band practice, children are shuffled from one activity to another. Instead of mastering one skill or learning the value of focus, they dabble in everything. For parents, this becomes a way to maintain control while still being able to say, “My kid is active.”

Chores, early mornings, and uncomfortable tasks are often avoided in modern households. Yet, these small challenges build discipline and responsibility. When children never face discomfort at home, they’re unprepared for the uncomfortable realities of adult life. Whether it’s waking up for a job, handling awkward social situations, or bouncing back from rejection.

Parents can’t sit in on job interviews (although many have) or make sure their kids get to work on time forever. When children grow up sheltered and dependent, they enter adulthood without the skills needed to navigate it. This often leads to entitlement, lack of accountability, and even parents stepping in well into their child’s adulthood.

And to top it off, a lot of parents are raising kids solo. So that makes it twice as hard to prepare your child for adulthood. 

Many parents embrace the mindset: “I’ll give my child everything I never had.” But maybe the better mindset is: “I’ll teach my child everything I was never taught.” Kids need discipline, independence, and real-world preparation—not just opportunities and material comforts.

Parenting with love and protection is important but so is preparing kids for life outside the home. The goal isn’t to raise a child who is merely “active” but to raise an adult who is capable, confident, and independent. 

Because, God forbid, if you die, then how would your child survive without you? A lioness doesn't feed her cub until its full-grown. It only does it until the cub is old enough to go hunting with her to learn. Birds don't feed their babies until they are full-grown. Some will even push their kids out of the safety of the nest to teach them to fly.

If the animals in the wild have it figured out, then why is it so hard for humans to grasp the concept of "preparation" over "pampering"? Stop trying to be a friend and be a parent. It's the job you signed up for.

I’ll Never Be the “Cool Old Guy” And It Sucks

I’m 53 years old, and it finally hit me... I’ll never be "cool" in the eyes of young people.

When I was growing up, things were different. Older people were respected, even admired. My uncles, my elders, and even the older guys down the street had a kind of authority. They carried wisdom, life experience, and a quiet confidence that made them role models in a way. To me, they weren’t “out of touch”. They were legends. OGs.

But somewhere along the way, that changed.

Today, the younger generation doesn’t look at people my age with respect or curiosity. Instead, they often dismiss us as outdated, irrelevant, or even annoying. We’re not mentors. We’re “has-beens.” And no matter how hard I try, I’ll never be the “cool old guy” that my ancestors were to me.

When I think about my childhood, I realize why my elders had so much respect. Back then it was harder to get knowledge. Outside of an encyclopedia or a library, you were stuck. If you wanted to learn something, you had to ask someone older or more experienced.

Back then tradition mattered. Culture and family history were passed down through stories, and elders were the keepers of those stories. Family stories rarely get passed down today as they did back then. And when you factor in so many blended families in society that we have now, it's even more rare to keep up with family history.

Back then patience was taught. Life wasn’t so fast-paced. People slowed down to listen and genuinely had interest in what you had to say most of the time. And even if they weren't interested, somehow what was being said still stuck somewhere in their mind to be retrieved later.

In short, older people had something that young people needed. Not anymore.

Fast forward to now, and everything has flipped. Information is everywhere. So much of it is probably not true, but verification isn't important in present-day America. With Google, TikTok, and YouTube, young people don’t feel they need to ask anyone for guidance.

Fast forward to now, and even the trends don't last long anymore. I thought my uncles were cool in their 70's clothing but fashion rarely lasts a decade now. By the time something catches on, the next wave has already started.

Fast forward to now and getting older isn't aspirational anymore. Instead of looking forward to maturity, youth culture glorifies staying young forever. To be fair, people my age tend to enjoy the youth culture a little too much as well. Maybe that's where some of the lack of respect comes from, huh? (Message!)

It hurts to admit, but I’ve noticed it in my own life. I walk into a room of young people, and instead of being seen as someone with stories to tell or lessons to share, I’m seen as outdated background noise.

The cruel irony is this: I really wanted to grow into one of those wise, cool elders I once admired. But the role doesn’t even exist anymore—not in the way it used to. I wanted to be the guy who pointed "finger guns" towards a guy and said, "watch out there now, young fella!"

Well, maybe not to that extreme, but you get my drift.

Still, maybe there’s another side to this. Maybe being “cool” to young people shouldn’t be the goal. Maybe it’s enough to pass down values, even if they don’t seem interested now. My goddaughter is 18 years old, and she listens to me still. We'll see how long that lasts. Her brother pretty much stopped at 20 years old, but I still think that he gets what I'm saying most of the time.

Maybe it’s about leading by example, showing resilience, patience, and grace. That's always easy, right? Just exist and keep doing what I've been doing, and it will be recognized.  I can always hope.

Maybe the respect comes later, when they’re older and finally understand. Only time will tell. Maybe I won't be too senile to recognize it if it does.

Because deep down, I know my uncles weren’t “cool” because they tried to impress anyone. They were cool because they were authentic, grounded, and unapologetically themselves. And that's all I ever strive to be. The best version of me that I can offer the world.

I'll never be the “cool old guy", and it sucks. But maybe coolness is overrated. What lasts longer than cool is character. And while they may not see it now, one day they might look back and recognize the value of the people they once brushed aside.

Until then, I’ll keep living my life with the quiet dignity my elders showed me. And who knows? Maybe one day, when the noise of youth fades, wisdom will matter again.