Fellas, Don't Spend More Than $15 for First Dates

I know that the ladies are looking at the title of this post with their mouths agape.  Sorry, ladies, but some of you all kind of brought this on yourselves.  It's too expensive these days to have an old school mentality in a new school world.  It's time for men's dating tactics to evolve just as women have.

At one point of my life, I could meet a woman that I liked and take her out on what was called "a proper date".  That would usually include dinner and drinks in which I would get the tab at the end of the evening.  This was how most relationships (or an attempt at one) started.  It may have been costly sometimes, but both parties were genuinely interested in getting to know one another.  So, it didn't feel like a huge loss if things didn't work out.

However, things are different these days.  Fellas, there are a lot of women out there who just want "something to do".  Sure, they may be interested in a relationship, but that doesn't mean that it has to be with you.  There are plenty of women who will go out with a guy they have no intention of ever dating.  They'll laugh, joke, and will probably even have a good time with you and then you won't hear from them again until their hungry.

There are a lot of "good enough" guys out here in society to keep these women occupied until they find the man that they actually want.  I decided years ago that I would no longer be that "good enough" guy.  If I'm not "the" guy then she can waste someone else's time on a Friday night.  There is always another woman, guys, so don't get so caught up on one who doesn't even want you.  If she comes at you wanting some lavish dinner from somewhere then you should question her motives.  Unless she's agreeing to go dutch.

If a woman is truly interested in a man then she will meet him for coffee or even frozen yogurt.  Because she values his time more than just what he can do for her.  And I won't hesistate to tell any young guy who will listen, "don't spend more than $15 for first dates."  Find out if you even like her or not (and if she likes you) before you spend your hard-earned money on someone who has your name saved in her phone under "Crab Legs".

You Shouldn't Have To Manage Adults #Relationships

We've gotten to the point in today's society that we have to sometimes "manage" our significant others.  Aggression is so acceptable now that we almost expect our mates to be "difficult" at times.  Whether they're mad at you or at someone else, it seems like people just choose to not get along amicably these days. 

What happened to trying to keep the peace?  Why does everyone have to be right so badly that they would jeopardize important things over it?

You shouldn't have to manage adults (who don't work for you).  Trying to help someone else get control of their emotions can be extremely draining.  However, a lot of us are conditioned to think that behavior like that is a part of what strengtens a relationship.  As if you can't have a strong bond without a dust up every now and then.  That cannot be further from the truth.

I've had dealings with a variety of personalities in my life and I am a strong promoter of finding someone who is willing to keep the peace rather than bring the ruckus.  I've dealt with people that I've had to console them even though the things that irked them were non-existent or petty (by most people's standards).  I've had to calm people down to prevent them from doing regretful on the job due to an emotional flare up.  I even once dated a woman once who got mad at me for not being as mad as she was about something that I still, to this day, don't understand how it applied to her.

Know that there are people out here who don't start sentences with "I feel" when they are upset.  That's usually a sign that they've thrown logic out of the window.  There are people out here who will still think before they speak.  There are people who aren't prisoners of their emotions. 

You don't have to settle for someone who isn't even in control of his or herself.  You can have peace if you seek it.  It doesn't mean that conflict won't ever occur.  It just means that you will both take a sensible approach to resolving it with as little regret as possible.

"He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly."   Proverbs 14:29

So, A Cop Reportedly Raped A 15-Year Old...

JPD Press Conference w/Chief of PD.

Jackson, MS has its share of issues just like any other capital city.  We have bad apples in the police department and government, too.  However, this story from the past few days has really divided social media (like we should be surprised) and I just don't see the logic behind it.

To summarize things: an almost-30-year old police officer was accused of having a sexual relationship with a 15-year old girl.  It was reported that the relationshp went on for six months and that he was filming their backseat rendevous during his work hours.  The story turned even more tragic when the man took his life just a day or two after the story hit the news.

What I'm shocked at about this entire situation is how many people are blaming everyone except the allegeded predator.

The phrase that I'm seeing pop up on my timeline every other comment is, "she knew what she was doing!"

Are you serious?  Are you really going to blame the 15-year old girl for her reported relationshp with someone twice her age?

Why do we do this?  Why do we assign blame to the underaged victims in these situations?  How can someone who isn't even old enough to drive a vehicle capable of understanding a sexual relationship with anyone of any age?

Some of the same people posting this foolishness can't even navigate their own adult relationships and they think that someone who isn't old enough for a summer job knows what she's doing.  How can you say that she knew what she was doing when you're getting seduced and fooled in your own adult lives?

Quit shaming the minor victims and place the blame where it belongs...  on the predator!  And I don't want to hear people saying that "she lied about her age" or "she looked old enough".    It's no excuse!  If you can't tell after 5 minutes of conversation that someone is underaged then you need to be put in jail or maybe you're in need of a GED yourself.

A life was lost.  This girl may not ever be mentally right again because of the attention this story is getting and the fact that the man killed himself.  I'm pretty sure that she feels badly enough as it is.  Why pile on the only person who hasn't been on the planet long enough to vote?