Teach Your Sons How To Be Men

If parents would teach their sons how to handle their responsibilities when they are young, then someone else's daughter won't have to do so when they are grown. 

Boys who are not challenged and have not accomplished anything turn into immature and irresponsible adults. They will usually shy away from anything they deem difficult from a good job to a good woman.

Ladies, you don't have to date a man like that. And you definitely don't have to have a baby by one. 

Ladies, if you are in a relationship and find yourself being a mom more than you are being his woman then something is wrong. If the same Christmas gifts you bought your dude could also make your 12-year old son happy, then doesn't that tell you something? It doesn't mean that guys can't enjoy gaming consoles and sneakers, but if that's what he's all about then ma'am, you have a son! In just a couple of generations, we've gone from dads getting a tie, some socks, or tools for Christmas to shopping for your dude in the same stores that you shop for your son. 

Do you know why some guys are bad boyfriends, husbands, and dads? Because no one told them that they sucked as a person before they became a boyfriend, husband, or dad. They kept getting their way and having things done for them until they grew into overgrown children. It's hard to reprogram someone who has never had to be held accountable for his actions.  Parents are supposed to teach and guide along with providing shelter and entertainment.

Blame the moms and dads who didn't teach their sons how to be a caring and responsible person. Don't get me wrong.  You can't make a guy be responsible. He has to want to do that. However, you can instill some values in him when he's young that may he may adopt into his lifestyle as he grows older.  

How many of you parents out there, man or woman, have had conversations with your sons about the importance of doing well on the job? Regardless of the type of job. How many of you have taught your sons not to leech off of women? How many of you have taught your sons that their responsibilities come before their hobbies? 

Only you know the truth to those questions. And some of you are not hitting the Like button because you know that I'm talking about you. That's okay. You don't have to like what I say as long as you consider what I'm saying. 

Some of you ladies are raising the same men that you despise.  Running around talking about, "this is my king".  Buying him $200 sneakers and the boy is 14 years old and reading on a 4th grade level.  He knows the lyrics to every song by Lil Uzi, Lil Shotgun, Lil Glock or whatever "Lil" is rapping these days, but has to move his lips when reading a Dr. Seuss book.  Talking about your son is going to be a "heartbreaker" with the women and then you wind up a 32-year old grandmother because you never taught him how to respect relationships.  

And some of you dudes are not raising your sons at all. You're not present. And when you are present, you aren't teaching him anything that can help him develop into a man. You think that playing him in Madden fulfils your duties as a dad.  No, it doesn't.  

Why are you setting your sons up for failure? Why are you not teaching him to not just to seek book knowledge, but also knowledge of self?  Why are you not teaching him how to get and keep a good job?  Why are you not instilling the importance of ownership and an excellent credit score?  

Why are you not teaching him to establish himself as a man first and then find a woman. And make sure that he is capable of handling that woman. 

Guys, your son is a reflection of you. I don't care if he lives with his mom, a son is a reflection of his dad's teachings. If you don't make the effort to have those conversations with your son then who do you think will get the blame if he grows up to be a sorry dude?

We're Running Out of Men

The title can't be any more simpler than that.  We're have a shortage of men in this country and it's getting worse by the generation.  Notice that I said "in this country".  As far as I can tell, other countries still have men who raise their boys.

Not in the U.S.  Teaching boys to be men is almost a thing of the past.  I blame my generation.  We're so focused on trying to remain young that we won't take the time to be teachers.  A lot of guys my age are competing with younger guys instead of educating them.

There are so many things that a boy should learn if he is to be a productive member of society:

Respect women.

It should start with your mother and extend into the community.  All women are to be respected.  Men should teach their boys that women are different.  Don't talk to them like men.  Don't handle them like men.  Be kind and gentle to them.  Never hit them (unless it's an extreme circumstance that can affect your health. Ex. she has a weapon.).  Don't curse at them.

I know that there are some women out there who act like men, but most of them probably only built up that persona because of the way men treated them in the past.  Be the guy who breaks that cycle by teaching your sons that women aren't to be abused in any shape, form, or fashion.

Leave things better than how you found it.

That's self-explanatory.  If someone loans you something, then care for it as if it were yours and return it in the same condition.  That can be anything from property to someone's emotions.  Always teach others to build.  Some of us guys are like tornadoes going through a nice town.  Everything was perfect before we arrived.  Teach boys to not be that guy.  Take pride in keeping things up.  It can be anything from keeping the lawn mowed at your home to getting litter out of the ditch in your neighborhood.

Have a legendary work ethic.

This almost no longer exists these days.  With the sense of entitlement parents give kids now, it's a wonder that anything gets done in 2019.  The concept of working should be instilled in boys at a very young age so they can take that to adulthood.  Teach them to clean the house, take out the trash, mow the lawn, etc.  Get them in the routine of those things.  A man should have a purpose each day when he gets out of bed.  A male without a purpose is worthless.  Make having work to do his purpose.  You must also not only promote hard work to boys, but teach them to have pride in their work, too.  Don't half-do anything.

Learn from your elders.

This is something we have forgotten to do in this country.  We want to throw people away when they turn 40.  That's why men should always teach boys to listen to older people.  Learn from them.  The best way to get a leg up on life is to talk to someone who has "been there and done that".

Give them tips on the many things that will help them be a better man.  Life isn't a competition between the generations.  Men shouldn't be competing with their younger counterparts.  They should be teaching them how to be better than what they were at that age.  Let the younger generation have it.  We've had our time, so now let's teach them how to make the most of theirs and maybe in return they will appreciate spending more time with older people.

Protect your community.

I don't mean sitting out on your porch with a gun.  I mean doing what you can to keep bad elements from thriving in your neighborhood.  If you reach boys at a young age then you don't have to worry about them robbing you at an older age.  That means being a face in your community.  Get to know your neighbors.  Help them when they need it.  Look out for their kids and keep them out of harm's way.  Everyone wants to mind their own business these days and communities are suffering because of it.  We need to get back to having a village mentality if we ever want to create a generation of men who give back.

Teach boys how to plan.

This may be one of the most importants pieces to the puzzle.  I know way too many guys who are reactionary.  They wait for things to happen and then respond.  Most of the time, the world is collapsing down on them before they can figure out what to do next.  That's why it's important to teach boys how to think ahead.  Educate him on how to forecast his life and use that to make his next decision.  He needs to be taught how to save money, how to establish a career path, and how to plan his family.

Be accountable.

This is one of the hardest things for people to do these days.  So, how do you teach it?  You start young.  Give them chores to do and make sure that it's done properly.  Establish rules and hold them to it.  Teach boys that there are consequences for their actions.  You must firmly instill a "your break it, you bought it mentality" if you expect them to not whine all of their adult lives when things don't go their way.  A man should always be able to look himself in the mirror and admit when he's wrong.  Saying "I apologize" does not make a person weak.

I'm sure that there are a ton of other things that I could have mentioned, but to all of the guys out there who have boys in their lives, please make sure that they grow up to be trustworthy, disciplined, compassionate, and a future role model for the boys they will encounter later in their lives.

Do We Over-Sexualize Female Role Models?

How many mainstream female celebrities out there aren't hot?

Did you come up with anyone other than Condoleezza Rice?  :)

Okay, I shouldn't pick on Condi. I asked that question from a cynical standpoint.  Let me try again...

When's the last time you saw a mainstream female singer who wasn't hot?  I'll wait...

I recently read a quote by singer, Rosie Lowe, that talked about how Beyonce and Rihanna reinforce stereotypes because they sexualize their bodies to promote their music.  Therefore, they are bad role models for young women.

First of all, I see what Rosie is saying, but I don't agree with it.  Entertainers are just that.  Stop making them into more than what they are.  Although that's very hard to do when adults are slobbering over these celebs even more so than the kids.  Have you seen Facebook timelines after a Beyonce video gets released?  It will make you think that Jesus has returned.  And that's not Bey's fault one bit.  If her body and how it moves brings in just as much money as her voice, then why shouldn't she make money off of them both?

Most female celebs probably couldn't care less how the use and display of their bodies affect your daughters as long as your kid is watching them and buying their products.  The responsibility falls on mom and dad to raise their kids, not some R&B singer who doesn't even know that your child exists.  Parents should teach their child that twerking on the Billboard Awards for a paycheck is different than twerking at the club for a drink.  Much different.

But, let me return back to the topic: do we over-sexualize female role models?  Yes.

We have even gone as far as commenting on the bodies of the current and the previous First Ladies of the United States.  Even when some sick-in-the-head female teacher takes advantage of one of her underaged male students, what's the first thing that comes out of some guy's mouth: "Man, she's hot enough to have any dude she wants, why does she want a kid?"

No woman is off-limts to being rated.

Will it change?  Not in my lifetime.  Should it change?  Absolutely.  No one should look at a successful, good-looking woman and wonder if she's actually achieved her status by hard work or was it given to her because of her looks?  After all, we don't rank men based on looks.  Do you know how many ugly dudes are on TV making a nice career for themselves?  Steve Buscemi is worth $35 million dollars!

That's completely unfair to women and we need to find some way to stop it.  Talent is talent.  Looks need not apply.

Steve Buscemi

A Reason Why My Father is So Great

My father has always been one of my many role models in life.  He's the reason that I have a generous nature and that I always try to think about other people.  Regardless if they deserve it or not.

He's always been a helpful guy.  People in the neighborhood still come to him to this day when they need something.  Maybe something is wrong with their car or they need a ride to work.  He's always willing to help and all he asks for in return is a sincere "thank you".

Those things are well and good, but it's the little things that makes him so great in my eyes.  I remember once when he was driving home from somewhere late at night.  Maybe it was a trip home from Chicago or somewhere far off, but there was a car in front of him that occasionally veered out of its lane.

My father recognized that the person driving the vehicle was sleepy and had difficulties paying attention to the road.  So, instead of passing him like most people would and leaving the man to fend for himself, my father did something unexpected:  he aggressively blew his car horn at the man.

The drive immediately corrected himself and returned back into the lane.

After 5 or 6 more minutes, the car veered to the right once again and my father blew his horn to get his attention.  Every time it appeared that the man was going to sleep, my father would blow his horn to wake him.  He did that for at least 10-15 miles!  Even though the man was going slower than the speed limit, probably due to fatigue, my father hung in there with him and made sure he stayed awake.

Finally, the man reached his exit and left the highway.  As he was exiting the road, he rolled down his window and waved his hand at my father as he drove by.  He recognized what my father did for him and showed his appreciation for it by acknowledging him.

My father won't get any type of medal or recognition for what he did.  He's a believer that you always do the right thing and try to help people even when no one is looking.  That's how you know you're a good person.  But, he did gain something that evening: my admiration and my desire to be just as thoughtful as he is.

(VIDEO) Judge Joe Brown Caught Slippin'

Judge Joe Brown & Wife (photo credit)

Oh, Judge Joe, say it ain't so!  If you haven't heard by now, Judge Joe Brown was caught slippin' recently.  He was in Hollywood drinking on a few Bombay Sapphires when a guy with a camera thought it would be a great idea to interview him.

Unfortunately for JJB, he was clearly drunk.  Now, although JJB's show has been canceled for six months, the guy still has a reputation for being "old school" and for "taking care of business."  That reputation could have probably led to politics or public speaking if he wasn't interested in returning to your everyday courtroom again.

However, despite his right to have drinks and enjoy life, he put himself in a very vulnerable position.  This tends to happen to mostly everyone who drinks for more than just the taste.  He left himself wide open to be embarrassed in social media and on TV news gossip stations.

He constantly used profanity during the interview as he posed with some young, attractive ladies.  He even mentioned that he made as much as $20 million per year on his show.  I'm not sure if that's true or not, but if it is, then that must mean that Judge Judy is raking in $30 million per year because her show has kicked butt routinely for a decade now.

The one thing that I will say about JJB is that he's truly a man in love.  He bragged on his hot wife constantly during his slurred interview and he appeared to be very proud of her.  Ladies, any time a man is drunk and he can't stop talking about you, then that man definitely has some love in his heart.

JJB is someone I looked up to in regards to being a model TV personality.  I still think that he's that guy because we all make mistakes.  But, he put himself out there in the worst way.  He showed a side that the public didn't need to see.  We all have something, regardless if it's as innocent as having a few too many to getting busy in the bedroom, that makes us look different to people if the public sees it on camera.

Drinking alone in public is a bad idea if you don't know when to stop.  Someone sober should be around to prevent something like this from occurring.  Judge Joe Brown now has one more court appearance to make in his life: and it's in front of the court of public opinion.

Did Judge Joe Brown do this to himself or did the interviewer take advantage of his situation?