Treat Mothers With The Respect They're Due

I have to admit that Mother's Day hasn't been quite the same for me since my mom passed away in 2012.

I'm blessed to still have my grandmother who is 97 years old and also I still get gifts from my late wife's mom. But, the day still seems incomplete without my mother.

My mom's name was Mary. She was 69 years old when she passed in June 2012 from cancer. She was diagnosed around 2009 and it slowly ate away at her.

My mom spent the last month of her life in the hospital. One of the toughest moments of my life was when I was feeding her one evening because she was unable to feed herself. I thought about how she fed me as a baby and now here it was I was doing the same for her. It took everything within me to not cry in front of her and I'll never forget that moment. The amount of appreciation for every she did for me in my life swelled up inside of me and almost exploded in a wave of emotions at that very instant.

But, I managed to keep it together. In that moment, all I could think about were the many instances that she made sacrifices for me. Helping me with homework. Taking me to practice when my dad had to work. Being a taxi for me and my friend, Shawn, or my cousin, Jerome, to go to the mall arcade to play video games. So many times, she put off what she wanted to do to make sure that my brother and I were happy.

I'm so glad that she had an opportunity to retire and actually enjoy her life before she got sick. She loved to go fishing and she loved to visit casinos. And she did that very often for about five to seven years before she got too weak to go. The morning she died, I remember the emptiness I felt. When the coroners took her from the hospital room, I felt as if I should go with them to accompany her. I didn't want her to be alone although she'd passed away.  Because she had always been there for me.

I guess that the message that I want to pass on to all of the guys out there is don't take your mom for granted. If she was good to you then do twice as much as you can for her when you get in a situation to do so. And for you guys who are husbands or have children with a woman, you're not exempt from this either.

Husbands, treat your wife right. Spend equal time with your children and allow your wife some alone time. It's not a woman's job to take care of kids. That responsibility belongs to both parents. Do your share. Period.

And for guys who have kids by a woman and you don't have custody of them and don't live with her, please pick up your kids as often as you can. Don't think that just because you get them every other weekend (after she's had them for 12 days straight) that you're doing something special.  Just because you and her are no longer together doesn't mean that their mother is no longer important to you. She's raising your kids! You need her to be at her best which means you need to relieve her whenever possible. Allow her time to go out or have a spa day or do whatever it is she wants to do. Her peace of mind will allow her to be the best parent she can be.  Your kids deserve that.

I'm ranting, but I'm saying all of this to say: treat mothers with the respect they're due. And I'm not belittling the roles of dads because they are equally as important. We all have a special bond with each active parent. And mothers have a special place in our hearts because we all shared a heartbeat with them at some point of their pregnancy with us. Do right by them and let them feel the love every day of the year and not just on Mother's Day.

Thank God for Mothers

I lost my mom on June 5th, 2012. She was 69 years old. I remember leaving the hospital room with an empty feeling. I didn't know what to do. I felt as if I should accompany the body to the morgue because I didn't want to leave her alone.  I remember how distraught that I was at the funeral and how it hit me that I would never hear her call my name again.

But, like most things in life, you get stronger as time passes. Now almost three years later I don't have the same outlook on her passing. I smile with pride every time I hear any mention of her because I know that I was lucky to have her as a mother. A majority of us should feel the same way. 

Fortunately enough for me I had the opportunity to enjoy my mom for 40 years before she was called home. That's a lot more than some people can say. For that I am thankful. There are a lot of people who didn't get much time with their mom for whatever reason and I realize that.

I thank God every night for my mom because of her influence in making me who I am today. She did what any good parent should do: taught me right from wrong and she taught me how to be a leader and not a follower.

I miss going over to my parents house on Mother's Day to give her a card.  I miss taking her to breakfast the Saturday before Mother's Day.  I miss giving her a hug when I walked in her kitchen.  She's gone, but she's definitely not forgotten.

To all of you who still have your mothers, remember that you only get one.  Maximize the time that you have with her and hug her as often as you can.

"There is nothing more special in life than someone who can give it." -Q