You Can't Argue With "Victims"

You can't move on if you can't apologize.  

So, I'm listening to two people (man and woman) discussing a relationship topic that occurred in a movie.  Before I could even give my two cents, the disagreement between the two went sideways.

The guy defended a male character from a movie.  The male character did not make his wife a top priority through two decades of being together.  He was always chasing a dream.  His wife got fed up and divorced him.  Shortly afterwards, his dream came through and dude made millions off of his idea.  Although his ex-wife had moved on, he gave her $10 million dollars to try and make amends for all he put her through.

By now, some of you recognize this movie, but I didn't want to go into details and spoil it for those who haven't seen it.

Anyway, the guy referred to this male character in the movie as a "stand up guy".  Because although he was not legally obligated to give his ex-wife anything, he felt morally obligated to try and make up for the stress he had caused her for pretty much all of her adult life.  And he caused a lot of stress!

But as the guy makes his statement, the woman interjects and said something along the lines of, "that's just like a typical guy to refer to this dude as 'stand up' after all of the pain he caused in her life."

The guy quickly thought about his statement and apologized.  "You're right.  I misspoke.  He was definitely a horrible husband, but I was just glad to see him try to fix it by making sure she was set for life."

So, I'm thinking to myself that everything was good.  She made her point and he agreed and apologized.  Now I can give my two cents on the movie.  But, she wasn't done...

"I can't stand it when men take that attitude and think that they can just fix a problem with one good deed," she started.

This went on for about 60 seconds before I decided to make my way to the ice machine to fill my cup and slowly disappear.  She lit into this guy from what started as a conversation about a movie.  And even after he agreed and apologized to her, she decided that it wasn't good enough and chose to belittle him.

When does an argument end?  Why can't people accept a sincere apology and move on?  Do we have to beat someone over the head until they just drop to their knees and submit in order to be satisfied? 

Well, here's my two cents on the matter: as long as a person can argue with you as a victim, then they feel as if they have leverage on you.  You can no longer say something that may be deemed as judgmental or offensive to them because you're stuck in an apologetic state.  If they forgive you, then they lose their perceived power over you.  So, some think that it's best to drag out an argument as long as they can to take advantage of victimhood.

Being a victim is the wave in today's society.  We all want to fight off of our back's and force someone to bend at our will. The end-result is a country filled with pathetic individuals always crying about something.

What Happened to Being Sweet?

That's funny. Women born before 1975 appeared to do it easily.

I'm as old school as they come which means there's a huge disconnect between me and a lot of folks.  Because of that, people younger than me tend to not understand why I shake my head at some of the things going on in today's society.  Especially when it comes to how men and women interact.

I had a gap in dating from 2002-2012 during the time that I was married to my late wife.  Unfortunately, when I got thrust back into the dating world, I had no idea how much things had changed.  What a difference a decade makes!

Right before I first started dating my late wife in 1998, there were two or three other women who had my interest.  All of them brought something different to the table, but the main quality all of them had is that they were sweet.  Not just to me, but to everyone around them.  They knew how to treat me (encouraging).  They knew how to treat their elders (respectful).  They knew how to treat children (nurturing).

Those days are gone.

Fast forward to 2015 and things have changed quite a bit.  Many women try to put guys in "their place."  Many women have no idea how to conduct themselves around their elders without being offensive.  Many women will curse around or even at their kids.  So many women don't carry themselves like ladies.

Because in 2015, it's been put in our heads that none of that stuff matters.  It's okay to do whatever you want and those who don't understand it, forget them!  They don't pay your bills so who cares what they think, right?

One of the main things that made me smile when thinking about a woman is no more.  Sweetness is gone.  Women now are just as hard if not harder than men and it's quite an adjustment.  The sweet, nurturing, inspirational ladies that once made me feel 10 feet tall are rarer than ever these days.  To some women, to be sweet is to be weak.  If she's too kind to a man then he may use it as leverage in the relationship.  Can't have a guy thinking that you actually like him, right?

A man is supposed to be a visionary, leader, teacher, cultivator, provider, and protector.  All six of those things come to us naturally, but society teaches us how to suppress them.  The same applies to women.  Social media and TV encourages women to not worry about their reputation.

Look at that photo of Nicki Minaj and read her quote again.  She thinks that being "super-sweet," "sexy", or "nice" is hard?

SMH.


This ad has nothing to do with this post other than the word "sweet," but it's a hilarious ad to me.