CPS Investigates Will & Jada #Parenting

As seen on IG

Will and Jada are under investigation by child protective services?  Who would have guessed it?  Actually, as sarcastic as I'm being with that statement, I didn't actually expect it.  Mainly because I don't expect anything along the lines of discipline when it comes to celebrities.

Will and Jada give their children the freedom to choose.  Some people actually think that it's good parenting, but I think that a majority of people don't like it.  Regardless, they have the right to do whatever it is they want to do (or don't want to do) when it comes to their kids.  Well, at least until Child Protective Services shows up.  They tend to frown upon 13 year olds laying in bed with shirtless 20 year olds.

There have countless incidents that have made people buzz on Twitter and ask the question, "what are Will and Jada doing?"  Personally, I don't know, but it's not the way that I would consider raising my kids if I had any.

There's a reason that people have to be a certain age to do things like drive, vote, enlist in the military, drink, or even get a hotel room or a rental car.  It's because with age comes maturity.  Sure, some kids mature faster than others, but realistically, you really don't see the real world until you're out of your parents home and supporting yourself.  That's when adult life lessons begin.

The Smith Kids, Willow and Jaden, are probably bright and worldly kids.  But, they are still kids.  Despite the fact that they've made more money than me in their young lives doesn't make them smart.  It makes them fortunate enough to have rich and connected parents to go with that budding talent.

I hope for the best as far as the outcome of the CPS investigation, but I also hope that it's a wake up call for Will and Jada.  Parent your kids like you want, but keep that stuff in-house.  Don't let Instagram be the undoing of your household.  That would just be plain stupid.

Oh, yeah, and to the guy, Moises Arias, in the photo with Willow: you may get a knock at your door, too.  Not from CPS, but from COPS.  They frown upon 13 year olds laying in bed with shirtless 20 year olds, too.  "17 will get you 20," but 13, dude?

Do you believe that kids should have free will to make their own decisions?

You're A Tough Guy, Huh? T-U-F-F!

"Don't you know that orange is the new black?"

A few weeks ago, I was watching a marathon of one of only two reality shows that I enjoy: "Beyond Scared Straight."  ("Cops" is the other one in case you were interested.)  Anyhoo, the reason this is one of my favorite shows is because it takes people who think they're tough and puts them in their place.  There is nothing like seeing someone being put in their place.  Unfortunately, it rarely occurs to people who really deserve it like Congress members, celebrities, etc., but when it does, it's a good feeling.

Now, some of you are reading this and saying to yourself, "but, Q, how can you find happiness in someone else's pain?"

Easy.  People who cause pain get no sympathy from me when they receive it.  Do you think that I would care about some Congress member who takes kick backs to ship American jobs gets bullied in return?  Do you think that I would care if some larger-than-life athlete or celeb who thumbs their nose at the fans goes broke?

Absolutely not.  And the fact that these are kids on these shows gives them an opportunity to turn their lives around.  Although it's not always the kids' fault they're bad, it still shows them the end result of the decisions that they make.  Kids don't believe that "fat meat is greasy."  That's why adults are on this planet.  We're here to teach the younger generation how to leave things in a better position than it was left for us.

Unfortunately, my generation dropped the ball.  We told our kids that it's okay to have your own identity.  We told our kids that it's okay not to listen to grown ups who aren't your parents.  We're responsible for the many disrespecting, unappreciative, confrontation children that you see at the mall or in schools.

I wonder if we could get Scared Straight programs for Congress, Wall Street employees, and Kardashians?

Do you think Scared Straight Programs are a good idea or can you not teach with fear?

Why I Hate Disney & Teen Nick

This isn't anything new and I've actually blogged about this before, but sitcom kids have got it made.  I'm watching (not by choice) some Disney movie called "Girl vs. Monster" and this girl is talking to her parents like she's "running things."  She's calling her mom "ridiculous" and telling her parents that they're "ruining her life."

I think this type of action has been rubbing off on kids for a decade or two now.  Kids absolutely do not respect adults like they should, especially their parents.  I've seen parents literally go without so that their kids can enjoy themselves, yet it's never enough for the children.

Now, it's unfair of me to completely blame Disney or Teen Nick because they're just trying to make a buck.  They have no interest in raising your kids and I get that.  Sure, they may act like they care or they may market themselves towards kids, but they just want to be a successful business.  I blame parents for allowing them to watch these channels ad nauseam.  

Parents sit their children down in front of television for hours at a time without a clue to what they're watching. They think that the Cartoon Network is showing harmless cartoons, but instead they're showing adult cartoons. They think Disney is all Mickey Mouse Club, but instead, it's a intermittent display of disrespect being shown to grown ups. They think that Teen Nick is actually benefiting teens when all I tend to see is an inspiration to rebel against parents.

I find it hard to watch some of the shows on these channels because I grew up actually respecting my parents.  Imagine that.  It doesn't mean that at some point of my teen life I didn't rebel.  However, it was few and far between and still tactful when it occurred.  I never referred to my parents as "ridiculous" or said that they "were ruining my life" because I knew the sacrifices they made for me and my brother.  I also knew the consequences for showing disrespect.  Not just to them, but to any adult.  Consequences are a thing of the past now.

I knew that my father would rather be hunting instead of watching me at soccer practice.  I knew that my mom would have rather been fishing instead of working overtime to insure my brother and I got what we wanted for Christmas.  Because of this perspective, I never lost sight on who was in charge and I never ever intentionally disrespected either of them.

I'm so thankful to have wonderful god kids and I'm also glad that my lady has very respectful children.  It's very refreshing to be in their presence and feel the level of respect that they have for me.  To not have to go back and forth with them to get them to respond to the task at hand.

If you want to teach your kid to be worth something in society, then truly monitor what they watch.  If they watch something that isn't conducive for a young mind, then explain to them that Hollywood is make-believe. You may assume that they know this already, but trust me, many don't.

Do you think that today's kids are disrespectful because of unmonitored TV viewing?

Me and Ms. Smith

I saw my elementary school principal, Ms. Ann Smith, and my 3rd grade teacher, Mrs. Crawford, at McAllister's Deli a few days ago.  Do you know that Ms. Smith still remembers me, my mom and my brother (who is 6 yrs older) and I haven't been her student since 1978?  Her recall is amazing!

It was so nice to see her again.  I remember the days when I was always on my best behavior in elementary school because of the level of respect I had for my teachers and Ms. Smith.  I stayed out of trouble because on top of upsetting my parents, the last thing that I wanted was to disappoint my teachers or Ms. Smith.

Parents, please teach your kids how to respect others.  Things were so simple back then, but today's parents tell their kids, "you only need to listen to me" and that's so far from the truth.  It truly takes a village to raise a child and I'm a product of that.  I can list a number of adults who helped mold my life because my parents allowed them to do so.

My parents allowed responsible adults to discipline me in any way that seemed fit and I'm better for it.  Stop telling your kids that you're the only authority in their life or their school principal will remember them for all of the wrong reasons instead of the right ones.

What can parents do to get kids back on the right track of respecting others?

Are Parents Too Soft?

"You can't tell me what to do!  I'm running this!"

I'm not a parent.  I have god kids, but it's nothing like being a parent.  I don't have any problems with them because their parents have done a great job in raising them.  Discipline on my part is pretty few and far between.  Usually, it's just a sit-down discussion about what occurred and how things will be going forward "or else."  But, with them, there's never been an "else."  And even if it were, then that would be up to their parents to handle, not me.

However, when I look at kids today, I see them so much differently than I did when I was one of them.  When I was a kid, I knew what the boundaries were because my parents made them perfectly clear.  I don't get that from a lot of today's kids.  I'm seeing kids who push the envelope because their parents haven't set expectations for them.

My parents always made sure that I knew what the limits were and what the consequences were for exceeding them.  There was rarely a gray area and even when one presented itself, the gray was converted to black and white fairly quick.  My parents knew that all of their decisions were not going to be popular in my eyes.  But, they weren't looking to be popular.  They were looking to be parents.

Some parents think that as long as their kids are fed and sheltered, then they've done their job as a parent.  Uh, yeah, maybe if you're a wolf.  But as a human, a child needs much more nurturing.  You have to teach them honor, discipline and respect.  If you're not doing that, then you're not parenting.

I sometimes wonder to myself, "are parents too soft these days?"

I see so many parents trying to be their child's friend instead of their parent.  A parent's only responsibility, in my opinion, is to raise their child to be the best and productive person he / she can be.  That's your only job. If you can keep your child happy in the process, then that's a bonus, but creating a functioning part of society is the main goal.  You can be an authority in your child's life and still have their respect.  It's all about doing what you're say that you're going to do when it comes to consequences.  In order to get to that point, expectations need to be set.  The kid needs to know that if "A" happens, then "B" will occur.

However, some parents are more interested in pleasing their kids rather than raising them.  On the other hand, some parents are downright pushy with what they make their kids do...

"Please.  Help me.  My mom is crazy..."

We've Failed Our Youth

Where to start? I wish I knew, but I'll do the best I can. Buckle up because this is a long one...

It's hard to say what generation dropped the ball when it comes to our youth. The Generation X group from 1961-1981 would be where I'd start.

We didn't preserve our core values that our parents (from the Baby Boomer era) taught us. We compromised on our beliefs and because of it, we live in a country full of young, lost souls.

So many of us were raised in two-parent households, but ended up as single parents ourselves. Dads raised their sons to be men, but now that job seems to belong to a lot of women. Women have "worn the pants" in their families for so long that their daughters never seem to learn how to be ladies.

What made us change? Why did we, out of all of the people before us, choose to be the group to compromise our values?

Why did we choose to be the generation to make it "okay" to have children without a two-parent household?

Why did we choose to be the generation to make it "okay" to choose buying a material thing over this month's rent?

Why did we choose to be the generation to make it "okay" to have enough visible tattoos to make it hard to tell where your shirt ends and skin begins?

Society played a role in it. Corporations got greedy and inflation out-paced salaries requiring more two income households. That meant no more "June Cleavers" staying home while the "Ward Cleavers" went off to work to bring home the bacon.



With both parents now working in households lucky enough to have two, who's watching the kids?

Well, when I was growing up, I was lucky enough to have responsible adults to look after me while my mom and dad worked. My grandmother lived in my neighborhood and my best friend's grandmother stayed just two houses down. All of them allowed me access to their homes as if I were their kid and they also kept me in line if I acted up.

What are our options now? Daycare? A system that rarely allows for people who truly have love for your child to nourish, educate, and discipline them? That's our resolution? To have strangers raise our kids?

My aunt and uncle, who own a daycare, wouldn't be happy with that statement, but I'm just making a point. :)

So, if kids aren't getting the love, discipline and life lessons at the day care, then it's pretty much up to the parents (or in most cases, the mother) to instill that at home. Is that easy to do when your child is spending 40 hours a week around strangers learning new habits?

Gen X'ers, we've failed our youth. It has led to females who lack lady-like qualities and options in a suitable mate as well as males who are in a perpetual state of boyhood.

Corporal Punishment: Fair or Foul

By now, everyone has seen the incident at Murrah High School in my hometown of Jackson, MS. If you have not, then you can check it out for yourself from a local news station here or ESPN's story here.

Basically, a basketball coach "disciplines" his players in order to turn boys-to-men. He takes a weight belt and spanks them whenever they make mistakes. Not mistakes in life, but mistakes on the basketball court.

"I took it upon myself to save these young men from the destruction of self and what society has accepted and become silent to the issues our students are facing on a daily basis. I am deeply remorseful of my actions to help our students." -- Murrah coach Marlon Dorsey.

Corporal punishment has been outlawed in the Jackson Public School system for 20 years. Although I believe in discipline for kids, I personally think this is over-the-top. The fact that this guy is not whipping kids for being bad kids, he's doing it for not running a play correctly or missing a lay-ups. Is that not one of the most ridiculous things you have ever heard?

Everyone, locally, is speculating if the coach should keep his job or not, but I'm wondering what's keeping him out of jail. Isn't this an assault? Against a minor at that?

I guess I don't understand what should be controversial about this. He should be fired and put in jail, right? Should not this be cut-and-dry?

Continue the discussion here!

Don't Blame Kids. It's the Parents' Fault.

If you're the sensitive, can't-read-anything-that-hits-close-to-home type of person, then "x" out of this page now.

A lot of today's parents are lazy. Just as lazy as they want to be. They do everything except raise their kids in a proper fashion. So many times, it's so easy to blame the kids when we see some of them acting out in public.

My take on it: don't blame kids. It's the parents' fault.

Now, for the people who know me or have read my bio, they're saying to themselves, "Self, Quincy doesn't have any kids. Who is he to tell me that I'm not a fit parent?"

Well, there are plenty of male doctors who have delivered babies successfully without ever being pregnant. That goes to show that you don't have to do in order to know. All it takes is paying attention. And I'm not expert, but I'm no dummy either.

If you want to know if you qualify as a lazy parent, then peep the list below:


1. If your kid(s)can't ride in your vehicle, during a local trip, without you turning on a DVD on the rear seat TV, then you're a lazy parent. If you can't converse with your kid(s) while travelling locally around town, then you shouldn't have had them. I will almost go as far to say that a TV isn't ever needed in a vehicle, but I can see the usefulness in them on long vacations. Riding in a car for kids was actually fun at one time. You counted certain color cars or screamed "bingo" for some of them (half of you may not know what I'm talking about, so Google it). There were word games to play or maybe you just took a nap or read a book. Whatever it was, it was more productive then seeing "Monsters vs. Aliens" for the 75th time. If you need a DVD to distract your child on a short trip, then you're lazy.


2. If your kids go with you to Rated: R movies, then you're a lazy parent. I knew some kids back in the day who knew all of the lines to the comedy "Friday". Why were you kids in the theater with you for a Rated: R movie? Too lazy or cheap to find someone to keep them? I didn't see my first Rated: R movie until I was 12 years old ("Purple Rain") and I had to sneak to see that. People, let your kids be kids and stopping putting them around adult situations. Some things are way too early for pre-teens to see and hear for the first time.


3. If your kid only wants to be a singer, rapper, or athlete and you encourage it, then you're a lazy parent. Too many kids want to be what they see on TV and if that is all your child aspires to be, then you're misguiding them some where. Sure, these types of dreams come true, but the odds of them doing so are slimmer than a "Cosmo" model on a crack diet. Kids should have role models that they know. How can an athlete, celeb, etc. be a role model if the only thing you know about them is from what is released in the media in the form of movies, TV, print and web? What exactly can someone who doesn't know your child teach your child? Whatever it is, it's not as effective as what you could teach with a hands-on approach.

Being a good parent means spending time with your kid(s). Sit down with them and watch TV every now and then to not just know what they're watching, but explain anything complicated. The one thing that helped me as a child was the fact that my father watched everything with me. From cartoons to Westerns, we spent a lot of time together while I was young and I really think that it helped me. There were other things he could have been doing, but he chose to spend time with me.

Society keeps us busy today. Some parents have multiple jobs or some are single parents. Finding the time isn't always easy. And even when you do have time, sometimes you just want to relax. Sure, you may wish you had a break now every once and a while, but be patient and put the child first. It will definitely pay off in the long run. After they're grown, you'll have the rest of your life to enjoy and a child who will make you proud.

No one said that raising a child was easy. Most people really try their best and I have the utmost of respect for them. But, for those who don't try? Meh....

Join the forum discussion here!