Repeat Offender

"All women are ho's!"

"All men are dogs!"

Surely you've heard that plenty of times, right? Have you noticed that it tends to come from the same people over-and-over again? You can't complain if you're a repeat offender, can you? "Once a victim, twice a volunteer" is the old saying, but some people are well beyond two bad experiences.

I don't have as many single friends as I once did, but I still have a few fellas that I know are still looking for Mrs. Right. Or so they say...

I know plenty of guys who say, "Q, man, I'm looking to settle down. Find that special lady so we can raise a family and take care of one another."

"Uh, do you think you're going to find one at the nightclub you went to last night or the strip club you hit up last Thursday?"

"Nah, Q! I can't fool with them. They can look like those women, but I need someone who doesn't have a bunch of kids."

"Uh, dude, don't you have three kids by four women?" (now re-read that sentence slowly and laugh)

"Man, I need someone who will take care of me when I'm sick. Works hard. Who's built like Bry Jensen...."

"Whoa. How can you make how she's built a requirement? You just limited your dating pool by 75%. Don't you know that the average woman isn't a fitness model? No wonder you're single."

(by the way, today is the last day to vote for Bry for 2011 BodySpace Spokesmodel Search!)



I know so many women who say, "there are no good men left in the world". Given today's society, I tend to understand where their feelings originate, but my sympathy for them tends to fade after I see their choice in men.

"Q, I wish I could just find a man who acts right."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I took my last man from a woman and do you know he had the nerve to leave me for someone else? After he said he 'loved me'!"

(Blank stare from me.)

She continued, "I need a man who will work hard to support his family. Be faithful to me and never consider cheating. One who's open and honest and willing to express his feelings. And he has to have six-pack abs and be at least 6'0" tall with tattoos. One who will keep my hair and nails done and send me to the spa weekly."

"Huh!!??"



"Yeah, since I would be a domestic engineer, I will need something to do to keep me stress-free and spa visits would do that for me."

"A 'domestic engineer'? Isn't that code for 'housewife'? Well, unless you hang out at pro golf tournaments or the Waffle House and are lucky enough to meet Tiger Woods, then you will probably remain single like a slice of Velveeta with those expectations."



So, why the charade about who is available in the world today? There are plenty of good men out there just like there are plenty of good women.

The problem is: You don't want one.

If you truly wanted someone who actually wants to be with you for the rest of your life, you'd be realistic. You're wasting your life away waiting on the "perfect mate" with certain physical qualities, motivational factors and financial status. I'm not saying you can't find someone who is successful, good-looking, faithful and great with kids because there are plenty of those people available if you look. But, how many good ones have you already turned away just because he was under six feet tall or because she was a 32A cup?

Why set your standards that high on the superficial things instead of the things that truly make a relationship great?

You do it because "bad" is "good", right? Women like "bad boys" and guys like "bad girls". Even though we know there is heartache involved in dating some Angelina Jolie or Vin Diesel look-a-like, we want what we want, right?

Just be honest with yourself for a change. I need all repeat offenders to repeat after me: "I welcome drama. I enjoy excitement. I like sexy. I like being alone."

Do you feel better now? :)

I Hope The Wagon Runs Over You

After my Dallas Cowboys dropped a heartbreaking loss to the New Orleans Saints on Thanksgiving Night, I had to return to Facebook to face the music from the haters. No big deal. The Cowboys have lost 8 out of 11 this season, so I've done my share of dealing with the insults. Besides, I'm a true fan, so facing the music is just part of being one. Unless you're one of the many bandwagoners out there in the world.

Oh, how I hate the bandwagon fan. For those not into sports, the bandwagon fan is the loser who either pulls for whichever team is winning or they lay in hiding until the game is over and then rear their ugly heads to say "I told you my team would win."

I have a problem with these people. Back at my last job, whenever the 'Boys would lose, I'd have a select few show up at my desk that day after to gloat. I would hear all sort of "your Cowgirls suck" insults. But, whenever the 'Boys won, they were nowhere to be found. No phone calls. No texts or tweets. They are too cowardly to get a dose of their own medicine.

Some people are bandwagoners in their relationships. When everything is going well, they're the best girlfriend/boyfriend in the world. But when things hit the fan, they're ready to move on to the next best thing.

When your mate has a great job and they're in great health/shape then you're all smiles all the time. You brag to your friends on how good you have it.

But, if they lose their job, get a serious illness or gain weight, then you are ready to drop them quicker than some of those Cleveland Cavaliers fans who traded their LeBron jersey for a Miami Heat jersey.



People need to learn the value of loyalty. Once you commit to something, then stick to it regardless of how sour it gets. If they lose their job, then help them get their resume in order. If they gain weight, then be encouraging about losing it by exercising with them. If they get extremely sick, then don't let them go through it alone. Be supportive and try to make their life easier. Unless that person is doing something to you that becomes bad for your health (someone who's emotionally/physically abusive), then show some character by being true.

Because you bandwagoners always lose eventually. Every single one of you that are out there. That's why you "switch teams" so often because you are not emotionally stable enough to be viewed as a "non-winner." That low-self esteem means that ultimately, you will fall off the bandwagon. And when you do, I hope the wagon runs over you.

I Don't Condone Violence, But I'd Understand...

Thanksgiving means football, but something that happened a couple of weeks ago merited a discussion. An 8-year-old Jets fan in Cleveland was tackled by a drunken Browns fan after their game. 8 years old, people!

The boy went to the game at Cleveland Browns Stadium in a Jets jersey with his father, who is from New York. The Jets came back in spectacular fashion to win the game in overtime.

As the family was leaving the stadium, the drunk began cursing the kid for his jersey and throwing food at the family. Once outside the stadium, the drunk tackled the kid and left him on the ground crying with scrapes and bruises.

Now, the husband didn't retaliate (which was the correct decision although I doubt I would have made the same decision), but where he lost me is when he didn't call the cops either. He put the family in the car and they left abruptly.

Huh!!!??? Some drunk assaults your child and you can't even call the cops? The only reason we know about this incident today is because your wife called the Cleveland newspaper and told her story?

On top of not defending your son, you allowed this drunk to go unpunished for a heinous act. I'm not sure if I'm more upset with the drunk or the dad. If the dad would have gone to the car, put his family in it and returned with a tire iron from the trunk, I think most people wouldn't be upset with him. I don't condone violence, but I'd understand if he had a temporary bout with rage and decided to take it out on the drunk.



Again, that would have been the wrong decision to make and I would applaud him for taking the high road had he not taken the coward road and fled the scene like a little punk! If you can't swing on the man who attacked your son, then at least call the cops and bring the loser to justice so that no other child suffers the same fate.

I don't even have a child and I'm mad. Am I overreacting on this people? Chime in below or here.