The Disrespect of Convenient Friendships

We live in an era where friendship has become a subscription service—you’re valuable only as long as you’re available. Once your “free trial” of usefulness expires, the check-ins stop, the calls fade, and suddenly people are “too busy.”

People love you when you’re useful—but forget you when you’re unavailable. That’s not friendship. That’s networking disguised as companionship. Too many relationships today are built on transactions—a favor here, some exposure there, or a little validation to feed the ego. 

But real friends don’t disappear when life gets inconvenient. They don’t need you to be “on” or accessible to prove your worth. Real friends check in just to see if you’re breathing, not because they need something. They defend you when you’re not in the room. They’re consistent even when the vibe isn’t convenient.

Here’s the thing: loyalty isn’t tested when it’s easy—it’s proven when it’s hard. When life gets busy, stressful, or messy, that’s when true friendship steps up. That’s when you find out who’s in it for you, and who’s in it for what you can do for them.

Convenience breeds counterfeit relationships. They look real on the surface, but when you pull back the layers, there’s no substance—just a history of favors and forgotten moments.

If someone only values you when it benefits them, that’s not friendship—that’s disrespect. Stop pouring consistency into people who only offer convenience.

Because the right people won’t make you question where you stand—they’ll show you.

Happy 55th birthday to my homie, "Buck Flash"!

Standards vs. Preferences: Knowing What Matters and What’s Just Nice to Have

Humans love treating dating like a trip to the hardware store. Say “standards” and suddenly people act like they’re choosing lumber. Say “preferences” and they start imagining paint colors for a house they don’t even own. Meanwhile everyone’s confused, frustrated, and single… but fiercely loyal to a checklist that’s never worked. 

Look at that split screen on the photo below. On one side: Kindness 🤝, Loyalty 🔒, Maturity 🧠. You know… qualities that decide whether someone makes your life peaceful or turns it into a group project from the ninth circle of chaos.

On the other: Height 📏, Hairline 💇‍♂️, Cosmetics 💄. The glamorous stuff folks swear is “non-negotiable” until someone amazing pops up and suddenly 5'8" doesn’t feel like a federal offense.

The problem isn’t having standards or preferences. It’s pretending the pretty stuff belongs in the same category as the important stuff. Kindness shapes your daily life. Loyalty shapes your future. Maturity keeps you sane. Hairlines… don’t. Not unless you’re planning to date a scalp. 

Somewhere along the way, people started confusing what matters with what’s just aesthetic icing on the cake. And that’s how you end up tossing out great partners while holding tight to a list that hasn’t delivered a single meaningful connection.

Time to fix the sorting error.

Your standards should protect your heart. Your preferences should decorate the experience. You can teach someone communication. You cannot teach them to sprout three more inches to meet your minimum height requirement. 

So take another look at that image: values on one side, vanity on the other. Decide which one is actually steering the ship. If the wrong half has been in charge, no wonder nothing sticks.

Rethink the checklist. Keep what matters. Let go of what doesn’t. Your dating life might finally stop feeling like a malfunctioning vending machine.